I can not understand some things, how can some members which i did talk before, we was "friends", and whithout to do or to say something wrong, my opinion, they don't talk with me anymore, ok, i understand, you don't want to talk with me, maybe you made new friends, it's ok, but why still come in my room and stay there 1-2 minutes and go out, i mean, how can do that when we talked a lot, it's like you have a boyfriend, do not interrupt the relationship with him, but because you think he didn't sucked your dick in a day in the way which you wanted, consider you don't must to talk with him anymore, but you don't explain that to him, you simple don't talk with him and still go in him house,even if doesn't mean anything more for you,i do not want to offend anyone here, but some guys sucks, we have feelings Quote

First of all, thanks for opening up on this. I appreciate reading such things from models.
It helps for members to understand what models have to go through sometimes.

Looking at my short experience on this site, i can think of a reason. In the beginning i went to many models rooms to check them out. With a few i enjoyed doing shows, but talking didn't go so well. With one in particular i had nice talks but only 1 show. And then i found a model that blew me away and had it all, great shows and nice talkings.
At some point i had to choose, and i chose for that one model to be my favourite one and to spend all of my credits on him (or at least most).
For that reason i found it inappropiate to visit the model again with whom i had nice talks with, because i don't want him to think i don't want to spend money on him and just only want to talk (i never asked him how he would feel about it or explain the situation to him, and did not visit him very long allready, since i'm only for about 3 months on this site).
Maybe i'm wrong about this and should reconsider things in the future. Only time can tell.

I can only suggest, if those members are dear to you, that you send them a mail and just ask if anything is wrong and explain the situation and how you feel. In a short way, without accusing them or be too begging. if you are lucky they explain to you why it's going like this. If they don't answer at all, i think they are not worth any of your time.
Good luck on this. ;) Quote

Dear Kane, it makes me sad to hear this.
I think buffalobill (who is a great new member on Flirt btw ) has well described how things work for some members, we look around and get stuck in some room and look around a little more with curiosity afterwards (and a low willingness to spend credits in other rooms). Sometimes we remember someone we had a good time with in the past, spend a little more there and go back to where we are "blown away".

However, buffalo also said that he didn't go back to even just chat ... and that is a big difference to what you are describing.
People who come into your room and have a history with you and have forgotten(?) about it or worse do not care anymore ... that seems heartless.

As you know you should be careful with writing messages "uninvited". But since we are talking about people who should know you, asking about a sign of life can't ever be wrong.

@buffalobill: You know, it is difficult to be courteous to the models you visit and find out that it is just not what you were looking for. How to say goodbye without getting any hopes up and at the same time without blurting out why you prefer other models. I guess I usually just run away and stay away. Sure that hurts. The guys on Flirt know they hardly ever are our only friends. C'est la vie!? Quote

Tnx for your great reply, chris. I think i understand what you mean. And yes, my situation is a little different than what Kane is describing. I chose up 'till now to stay away from that one model.
I do love to be in his room, talk to him, listen to his music. I would appreciate doing shows with him. But when one is limited on credits, choices have to be made.
If i would go in his room, i wouldn't start talking, because i know i don't want to do shows with him, and doing privates and spending credits to a model is off course a big part on this site, and something the models are here for.
If he would start talking to me, i might be afraid to get on with a nice conversation, because eventually there will be a hint to go in private. That's why i choose not to go in, but that's surely a tough decision to make.
That model just had bad luck there was one other model that stole my heart and blew me away, totally unexpected. In this short time we built up a very strong bond. I could never have foreseen that such thing would be possible on a cam model site.
I even have discussed the other models through mail with my favourite model. It was very cute to see he even seemed to be a little jealous that i was seeing other models. But then i told him not to be, because i am not jealous that he is having shows with other members. ;)

From the start i have respected the models and taken into account they are human beings too with real feelings and i have always been very open towards the models i like, but sometimes it's easier to run away before you start to get to know eachother better. But not everyone is the same. I think it's a good thing that models talk about their feelings and situations too. Be it in mail or in the open on the forum.
I'm touched by Kane's story, and i really hope for him he can sort things out with those people and at least will know the reason of it all. If not, you got to move on, how hurtful it may be.
And yes, it's like you say, chris, c'est la vie. Quote

Great thread guys. I am in the same position. I am hooked on one particular performer, who also blew me away, and on whom I wish to spend most of my credits on. Sometimes I will see great looking, or interesting guys (when my favorite is not online, sigh, damn timezones) and I will go in their rooms and have good conversations, get all excited and start tipping too. Sometimes I will take them pvt for 1 or 2 shows, generally will have great conversations with and spend some creds in tips and parties and so on.

However, my desire to take them pvt after this is not very great, and even though I miss them and the conversations, I feel guilty for going back to them just to chat and not to spend credits on I hate to go back to a room where there is the expectation that I will again give big tips and take them pvt, how do I say I am just here to chat? That feels wrong, so I tend to stay away, and not answer their messages

I feel rotten about it, I need to stop visiting other rooms because I really do like these guys, but my favorite has won my heart. And I love spending my credits too, but I am always conscious that I have limited supply and wish to save it for my favorite, for whom I have developed a huge crush and am a little bit in love with.

Damn this site, and all the beautiful men on it!

(LudiKris is not my generally known name here, I used it to protect any models known to me!) Quote

Wrong ))) Quote

If he would start talking to me, i might be afraid to get on with a nice conversation, because eventually there will be a hint to go in private.

Exactly what you said, you are right, i understand what you mean, you don t like to talk with the model because you have not credits and feel bad if can not tip him or take him in private, i understand, but it s a wrong tought in same time, depend from case to case, but you you, the member come in my room, you know me, i know you, come in my room, i say hello to you, and you don t answer, even if we talked a lot before, that is what i don t understand



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As you know you should be careful with writing messages "uninvited".
I didn't got it lol



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Exactly what you said, you are right, i understand what you mean, you don t like to talk with the model because you have not credits and feel bad if can not tip him or take him in private, i understand, but it s a wrong tought in same time, depend from case to case, but you you, the member come in my room, you know me, i know you, come in my room, i say hello to you, and you don t answer, even if we talked a lot before, that is what i don t understand



I don't understand that either, Kane. I have gone back to some performer's room before, but always under another screen name, because I miss them and their conversations. But to go back under my original name just to lurk and not saying anything? I really hope that doesn't happen often. I am sorry you are having this experience.


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I don't understand that either, Kane. I have gone back to some performer's room before, but always under another screen name, because I miss them and their conversations. But to go back under my original name just to lurk and not saying anything? I really hope that doesn't happen often. I am sorry you are having this experience.






Yes, that happens, it s sad...but every one has him chooses Quote

I didn't got it lol
What I meant to say is that most members don't want messages from performers with whom they are not in contact already.
We get too many "visit me today, I'm so horny" messages from people we don't know...

When I roam the site to check out new guys or pass time before my favorites are online I usually also use a different screen name. I remember entering one room being greeted as "OH, it's Chris the Legend"
.
When I talk to someone for longer and feel the need to tip or more I reintroduce myself, lol.

So for some members it is difficult, a good deal of people don't care though... Talking to a performer about your position is in any case a good thing to do and can be done quietly via the message system. Quote

It's very nice to read other opinions from models and members.
Never thought about using another screen name. Just wondering if this doesn't complicate things ? You got to make sure you use the right name on the right time and not make mistakes. I can understand it can be helpful for long time members to get honest first contacts and not having to wonder if that model is so nice because you are a legend.
But even if i use another screenname and go back to that one model just for talking, there is still the choice that i don't want to spend credits (and i also experienced things that ludakris said, that you enjoy yourself so much that you do have a private or a tip, and feel bad about it afterwards). Everybody thinks in another way, some have their reasons (hard to decide if what they do is wrong or right).
Let each other know and talk about the situation (in person through message system) is the best solution. Allthough, even that could get painful and one of them (model or member) doesn't feel the need to reply.

What i would like to hear from you Kane (or any other model): what would you think of people that you have a nice contact with, sometimes got tips from or a private, and all of a sudden there are no more tips or privates, but they still come to your room and have nice talks.
Would you eventually ask them what's wrong or ask for tips or privates ?
And how would you react if such person would let you know (through mail or in open chat thorugh whisper) he found a favourite model, but it's not you and they want to save their credits for someone else, and ask you if they are still welcome in your room to talk with you ?
I'm not so sure every model would react in a positive way to that.

What i mean to say, what seems to be right for me, might seem wrong for other members or models. What seems the right thing to do might seem right in that persons opinion, but might seem wrong for me. There's no clear answer to this.
But i do agree you at least deserve an explanation to be able to understand what's going on in his mind. Certainly when you ask for it. Easiest way would be in the room when they enter, but when they don't answer on a simple hello, there's a good chance they won't answer on any further questions. That's why i suggested the message sytem.

It's certainly good to see that more members and also models share the same feelings and doubts sometimes and are left with some questions. It's a good thing we can talk about this openly, respecting eachothers opinion, even if they sometimes differ. I hope more reactions will come on this topic, it can only make us understand eachother better. Quote

I can not understand some things, how can some members which i did talk before, we was "friends", and whithout to do or to say something wrong, my opinion, they don't talk with me anymore, ok, i understand, you don't want to talk with me, maybe you made new friends, it's ok, but why still come in my room and stay there 1-2 minutes and go out, i mean, how can do that when we talked a lot, it's like you have a boyfriend, do not interrupt the relationship with him, but because you think he didn't sucked your dick in a day in the way which you wanted, consider you don't must to talk with him anymore, but you don't explain that to him, you simple don't talk with him and still go in him house,even if doesn't mean anything more for you,i do not want to offend anyone here, but some guys sucks, we have feelings



Quote

I can not understand some things, how can some members which i did talk before, we was "friends", and whithout to do or to say something wrong, my opinion, they don't talk with me anymore, ok, i understand, you don't want to talk with me, maybe you made new friends, it's ok, but why still come in my room and stay there 1-2 minutes and go out, i mean, how can do that when we talked a lot, it's like you have a boyfriend, do not interrupt the relationship with him, but because you think he didn't sucked your dick in a day in the way which you wanted, consider you don't must to talk with him anymore, but you don't explain that to him, you simple don't talk with him and still go in him house,even if doesn't mean anything more for you,i do not want to offend anyone here, but some guys sucks, we have feelings



I happened that some customers want to be with them all the time, and when I go to the univertsity they angry and enter the room and insult me ​​, some people do not realize that we are people like them Quote

When I first came on the site, it was with three friends. We all chose profile names and went into rooms together or individually. It was all silly and fun. Some months ago, I changed the password and took ownership of the membership and associated email. My perception of the site, performers and other site members changed after that.

The relationships I have here feel as real as any I have in my real world; some are constant, some change, and some break apart. I do private shows now, a more intimate and intense experience. My time and credits are spread over several models. I don't know what to do with my conflicting emotions of loyalty and desire for the new, but it's helpful to see my feelings reflected in this thread and forum.

I've wondered how new and veteran performers feel when their devoted regulars move on and away. Is it the loss of credits they feel or the loss of a relationship? Or both? Or does it matter? Comments here reveal unexpected hurt. If I knew that an explanation would be helpful, I'd have conversations with the performers I see less often (or avoid seeing). In real-world breakups, stating the whys don't offer much in the way of comfort. It still hurts.

Great thread with great comments and perspectives. Quote

Wow, when people start insulting you, for whatever reason, that's really a few steps too far.
Mutual respect is the minimum one can require. That's really sad.

I had a model i used to go to in the beginning, and had a nice show with him. On another day i was in his room and wanted to test my cam (didn't know about the test page at that time). I didn't get it to work, being all clumsy. When i decided to give up and went back to the room, i was banned from it. I didn't know why (maybe he asked something and i didn't respond ?). I was a bit mad and stunned about it. Sure, i could have mailed him, or go in his room the day after (apparently i was just banned that one day) and ask for an explanation. I decided to not do that to avoid having an argument, but i never went back to him from that day on.

I just can't believe someone goes in a room and starts accusing people, that is so inapropriate. This discussion (and the other one that is bumped up) is a real eye-opener of which things can happen on the site.

off topic: is there a topic containing stories about "bloopers" or other things that go wrong in privates or shows ? Would be nice to read such things (off course without any model names in it). I'm not very long on this site, but allready experienced 3 moments that were a bit funny at the least. Quote

When I first came on the site, it was with three friends. We all chose profile names and went into rooms together or individually. It was all silly and fun. Some months ago, I changed the password and took ownership of the membership and associated email. My perception of the site, performers and other site members changed after that.

The relationships I have here feel as real as any I have in my real world; some are constant, some change, and some break apart. I do private shows now, a more intimate and intense experience. My time and credits are spread over several models. I don't know what to do with my conflicting emotions of loyalty and desire for the new, but it's helpful to see my feelings reflected in this thread and forum.

I've wondered how new and veteran performers feel when their devoted regulars move on and away. Is it the loss of credits they feel or the loss of a relationship? Or both? Or does it matter? Comments here reveal unexpected hurt. If I knew that an explanation would be helpful, I'd have conversations with the performers I see less often (or avoid seeing). In real-world breakups, stating the whys don't offer much in the way of comfort. It still hurts.

Great thread with great comments and perspectives.


Tnx for this reply, kfinches. Got goosebumps while reading it. It sums up most of the feelings i tried to describe (but i'm not good in expressing my feelings in a short way; and i chose to go for one favourite but the feelings about loyalty to a model stay the same).
And yes, for me it was also unexpected that even the models can get hurt when they lose a good fan.
It is sure good to read that we are not alone with these feelings. Shared sorrow is halve sorrow. Quote

off topic: is there a topic containing stories about "bloopers" or other things that go wrong in privates or shows ? Would be nice to read such things (off course without any model names in it). I'm not very long on this site, but allready experienced 3 moments that were a bit funny at the least.

Hi, buffalo. There's one on the VIP forum (http://www.flirt4free.com/forums/threads.php?forum_id=1&thread_id=3539) and also more publicly on this forum here:
(a) One with general quotes and proverbs and an occasional Flirt quote:
http://www.flirt4free.com/forums/threads.php?forum_id=5&thread_id=15697
(b) and my own humble attempt to get people to put any type (funny or not) of pieces and bits of conversation here:
http://www.flirt4free.com/forums/threads.php?forum_id=5&thread_id=23413&num_posts=7

There are many cool topics about respect for models, etiquette and our mutual roles on here. ronnie-uk is our renowned Librarian. Quote

I found this old thread and thought it was interesting. Or maybe not. Quote

Actually, I know a similar situation. If the guests with whom I spoke for hours both in private and in a free chat, we really talked great, now they come to me and are simply silent. They do not respond to the message. Perhaps I offended them with something? Quote