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Forums / Male Performer Chat

Laughter is the best Medicine
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Male Performer Chat: Laughter is the best Medicine
stinks
Created by: stinks

6/5/15 @ 7:27pm (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: member since february 2010
Posts: 1,039

Malteeser the funniest man on the forums :offtopic :bowdown :bowdown :bowdown :bowdown :bowdown :bowdown :bowdown :bowdown :bowdown :bowdown :bowdown :bowdown :bowdown :bowdown :bowdown :bowdown :bowdown
Quote
Created by: louisphillippe

6/6/15 @ 12:24am (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: Momentarely in this galaxy while the mother ship r
Posts: 1,234

Malteeser the funniest man on the forums :offtopic :bowdown :bowdown :bowdown :bowdown :bowdown :bowdown :bowdown :bowdown :bowdown :bowdown :bowdown :bowdown :bowdown :bowdown :bowdown :bowdown :bowdown



:orglaugh :orglaugh :orglaugh :orglaugh Yes he is!!!My favorite thread... :thumbsup :thumbsup :thumbsup
Quote
Demonte
Created by: Demonte

6/24/15 @ 11:03pm (EST) |UTC - 5:00


A mother was walking down the hall when she heard a humming sound coming from her daughter's bedroom.
When she opened the door she found her daughter naked on the bed with a vibrator.

"What are you doing?" she exclaimed.

The daughter replied, "I'm 35 and still living at home with my parents and this is the closest I'll ever get to a husband."

Later that week the father was in the kitchen and heard a humming sound coming from the basement.
When he went downstairs, he found his daughter naked on the sofa with her vibrator.

"What are you doing?" he exclaimed.

The daughter replied, "I'm 35 and still living at home with my parents and this is the closest I'll ever get to a husband."

A couple of days later the mother heard the humming sound again, this time in the living room.
In there, she found her husband watching the Super Bowl on television with the vibrator buzzing away beside him.

"What are you doing?" she exclaimed.

He replied............"Watching the game with my son-in-law."
Quote
Created by: ourjeffie

7/17/15 @ 10:01am (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: Brisbane Australia, home of the 2032 Olympic Games
Posts: 45,001


An Irishman, a Mexican and a blonde guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.
They were eating lunch when the Irishman said, Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building.
The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too.
The blonde guy opened his lunch and said, Bologna again! If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I'm jumping, too.
The next day, the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage, and jumped to his death.
The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito, and jumped, too.
The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the bologna and jumped to his death as well.
At the funeral, the Irishman's wife was weeping. She said, If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!
The Mexican's wife also wept and said, I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realise he hated burritos so much.
Everyone turned and stared at the blonde guys wife. The blonde guy's wife said, Don't look at me. He made his own lunch.
Quote
Fulgencio Z
Created by: Fulgencio Z

7/18/15 @ 5:01am (EST) |UTC - 5:00

Two pies in a baking : One of them says

"WAaaaaa it's so hot in here!!"


and the other says :

"AAAHHHHAAAAAA, a talking pie!?!?!?!"
Quote
Created by: ourjeffie

7/22/15 @ 7:50am (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: Brisbane Australia, home of the 2032 Olympic Games
Posts: 45,001


An old man had owned a large farm for many years. There was a large pond in the back, fixed up nice with picnic tables, a barbecue and some apple and peach trees.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over. He took with him a bucket to bring back some fruit.

As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.

He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end. One of the women shouted to him, 'We're not coming out until you leave!'

The old man frowned, 'I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked.'

Holding the bucket up he said, 'I'm here to feed the crocodile.'
Quote
Created by: dianaprince

7/22/15 @ 10:04am (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: Curacao
Posts: 369

Created by: thomas80

7/22/15 @ 2:50pm (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: Belgium
Posts: 1,051

The subtitles don't match with what's being said...
Quote
Created by: dianaprince

7/25/15 @ 4:02am (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: Curacao
Posts: 369

The subtitles don't match with what's being said...


I hadn't noticed what about this one:



Quote
Created by: ourjeffie

10/6/15 @ 10:19pm (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: Brisbane Australia, home of the 2032 Olympic Games
Posts: 45,001


An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.

The two men were talking, and one said, 'Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great, I would recommend it very highly.'

The other man said, 'What is the name of the restaurant?'

The first man thought and thought and eventually said, 'What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know, the one that's red and has thorns.'

'Do you mean a rose?'

'Yes, that's the one,' replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, 'Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?'
Quote
Demonte
Created by: Demonte

10/8/15 @ 9:36am (EST) |UTC - 5:00

Q: What do you call a man without left ear, left eye, left hand and leg?

A: Mr. Alright.
Quote
Created by: malteeser

10/10/15 @ 10:30am (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: Chimba de Isla
Posts: 499

On my honeymoon, my wife asked if I knew where her clitoris and g spot were.

I told her, "Sex first, then I will help you look through your suitcases for whatever they are."
Quote
Created by: malteeser

10/11/15 @ 10:23am (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: Chimba de Isla
Posts: 499

A husband and wife had been married for 60 years and had no 
secrets except for one: The woman kept in her closet a shoe box that 
she forbade her husband from ever opening. But when she was on her deathbedand with her blessinghe opened the box and found a 
crocheted doll and $95,000 in cash.

My mother told me that the secret to a happy marriage was to never 
argue, she explained. Instead, I should keep quiet and crochet a doll.

Her husband was touched. Only one doll was in the boxthat meant shed been angry with him only once in 60 years. But what about all this money? he asked.

Oh, she said, thats the money 
I made from selling the dolls.
Quote
Created by: malteeser

10/11/15 @ 10:29am (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: Chimba de Isla
Posts: 499


My seatmate on a flight was a woman. Ever the charmer, I asked, Does the airline charge you extra for sitting next to good-looking men?

Yes, she said, but I wasnt willing to pay.

Quote
Created by: malteeser

10/14/15 @ 12:37am (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: Chimba de Isla
Posts: 499

A tramp knocks on the door of an inn known as St. George and the Dragon. The landlady answers. Could you give a poor man something to eat? asks the tramp.

No! yells the woman, slamming the door in his face. A few minutes later, he knocks again. Now what do you want? the woman asks.

Could I have a few words with George?
Quote
Phil247
Created by: phil247

10/14/15 @ 2:28am (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: Pass
Posts: 23

A new Game: Pin the Guinea Pig on to The Rt Honorable Maid. (Pet Shop Boyz not included)

David 'Clone Drone' Tim 'Yo-Yo' and Micheal 'White Wee Wee in the Dark' in Inspector Clouseau: Who Shot(Miss Piggy) In the Dark (Reum)?

Reum? Yes That's What I said A REUM... Does your pig bite? No, Hello little piggy, Oink! Ouch!, I thought you said your pig doesn't bite, That is not my Pig!

Hello, Hello, Hello, What's going on down at the Soho Gay Bar?

Quote
Created by: malteeser

10/14/15 @ 10:38am (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: Chimba de Isla
Posts: 499

Before my son could start going on job interviews, he needed to dress the part. That, he decided, required a $500 suit.

What!? I answered, gagging at the price tag. Ive bought cars for $500!

Thats why I want the $500 suit, he said. So I dont have to drive $500 cars.
Quote
Created by: malteeser

10/15/15 @ 1:33am (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: Chimba de Isla
Posts: 499

We were reading The Wisdom of King Solomon in my Sunday school class. An illustration showed King Solomon ordering a c h i l d to be cut in half, as one woman sobbed and another watched uncaringly.

Pointing to the heartless woman, a y o u n g b o y said, I hope she ends up with the part that has the butt on it.
Quote
Created by: malteeser

10/16/15 @ 11:06am (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: Chimba de Isla
Posts: 499

When a zoos gorilla dies, the zookeeper hires an actor to don 
a costume and act like an ape until the zoo can get another one.
In the cage, the actor makes faces, swings around, and draws a huge crowd. He then crawls across a partition and atop the lions cage, infuriating the animal. But the actor stays in character until he loses his grip and falls into the lions cage.

Terrified, the actor shouts, Help! Help me! Too late. The lion pounces, opens its massive jaws, and whispers, Shut up! Do you want to get us both fired?!
Quote
Created by: malteeser

10/18/15 @ 11:47pm (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: Chimba de Isla
Posts: 499

A couple is sitting in their living room, sipping wine. Out of the blue, the wife says, I love you.

Is that you or the wine talking? asks the husband.

Its me, says the wife. Talking to the wine.
Quote

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