FreneticallyCalm: Not the hole story - 3/9/18 - Male Performer Chat

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Male Performer Chat: Not the hole story

Created by: Milo Player

3/15/18 @ 4:48am (EST) |UTC - 5:00

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Well thank you for being honest about it. Can you elaborate? What about it makes you "uncomfortable"?
Do you think it's some kind of "repressed homophobia" as others have said?
Do you think it's something else?
I'm asking sincerely and would love to know more about your view.

God no, no phobia here. i don't realy know how to explain it. must be subconscious. i gues we all got our own odd things

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Created by: freneticallycalm

3/15/18 @ 5:23am (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: California, USA
Posts: 63

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God no, no phobia here. i don't realy know how to explain it. must be subconscious. i gues we all got our own odd things

Perhaps you just need to do it a lot to get used to it. I think that's true of any job. Certain things we shy away from until we get comfortable with and accept it.
Thanks again for your honest feedback. :thumbsup

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Created by: Justin Shiver

3/15/18 @ 8:43am (EST) |UTC - 5:00

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Oral makes your day, but anal makes ur hole weak. xD :orglaugh

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Created by: z-money

3/15/18 @ 11:32am (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Posts: 429

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God no, no phobia here. i don't realy know how to explain it. must be subconscious. i gues we all got our own odd things

That's what internalized means. You may not be aware of it, but subconsciously there are behaviors you don't want to participate in or you don't want to appear a certain way because of it. This is not bad or uncommon or a judgement against you, and it may not even be the case for you! But generally, male models on Flirt will swear up and down that they are gay or bi, but avoid anything that crosses a "gay line." They will perform "straight" acts for you to watch, but you're just letters on a screen.
FYI: There are many many many homophobic gay people. It's not anti-gay. It's just an effect of societies that marginalize gay people and behavior.

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Created by: 640509040147

3/15/18 @ 12:41pm (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: NY
Posts: 1,267

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A good number of holes are being covered by that damn OhMiBod to begin with. I like my tight hole asses muscular and evenly tanned BUTT (see what I did there LOL) to the topic at hand: I always try to respect everyone's comfort level.

Yes some will layout all these disclaimers about ass play but if there's more to offer, then show and work with me. Don't just shut the mode down over one request.

I get LESS resistance from "straight guys" working with women as couples on the girls side of the site.

Yup, I experienced this too when I've decided to cross over on the other side. In fact, the guy will even OFFER to shove toys their ass or be submissive. Hell one couple has even allowed the girl to walk out of the room/screen so I can have my one-on-one with the guy.

But generally, male models on Flirt will swear up and down that they are gay or bi, but avoid anything that crosses a "gay line." They will perform "straight" acts for you to watch, but you're just letters on a screen.
FYI: There are many many many homophobic gay people. It's not anti-gay. It's just an effect of societies that marginalize gay people and behavior.

I'm never one to ask about orientations because I can pick up my own vibes to make my own assumptions yet many will say they are "Bi". Maybe there's some truth in some cases behind it but I usually call BS. I can only assume the reason they feel the need to label (and declare) themselves as such is out of "fear" that they'll upset users if they said they were straight.

Different parts of the world/society have different views for LGBT tolerance. I can understand that but seeing homophobia play out regularly can be disappointing.

Honestly one of the most annoying questions I get asked when I enter a room for the first time is "Are you gay or bi?" Does it really matter? I'm in your room because I clearly am attracted to guys. Just do what I ask, make me feel good/welcomed and let's carry on.

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Created by: myelmo

3/15/18 @ 12:46pm (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Posts: 1,108

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Oral makes your day, but anal makes ur hole weak. xD :orglaugh

nice butt! and nice hole!

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Created by: z-money

3/15/18 @ 4:49pm (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Posts: 429

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I'm never one to ask about orientations because I can pick up my own vibes to make my own assumptions yet many will say they are "Bi". Maybe there's some truth in some cases behind it but I usually call BS. I can only assume the reason they feel the need to label (and declare) themselves as such is out of "fear" that they'll upset users if they said they were straight.

I don't ask either, because it really doesn't matter. I just think it's funny how some insist on proclaiming their sexual preference. There are plenty of straight guys that won't go any further than "looky what I got" that do just fine on this site!

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Created by: Milo Player

3/15/18 @ 9:52pm (EST) |UTC - 5:00

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That's what internalized means. You may not be aware of it, but subconsciously there are behaviors you don't want to participate in or you don't want to appear a certain way because of it. This is not bad or uncommon or a judgement against you, and it may not even be the case for you! But generally, male models on Flirt will swear up and down that they are gay or bi, but avoid anything that crosses a "gay line." They will perform "straight" acts for you to watch, but you're just letters on a screen.
FYI: There are many many many homophobic gay people. It's not anti-gay. It's just an effect of societies that marginalize gay people and behavior.

quite an interesting point of view, but beeing homophobic it's out of question, since i realy have a few gay friends, and we get along prety good. few models as well. but there is some truth in what ur saying, not to me, but in general. Thanx for the honest reply :D . u seem cool

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Created by: Milo Player

3/15/18 @ 9:56pm (EST) |UTC - 5:00

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Perhaps you just need to do it a lot to get used to it. I think that's true of any job. Certain things we shy away from until we get comfortable with and accept it.
Thanks again for your honest feedback. :thumbsup

I don't know, perhaps. Not realy sure what's the reason. And i am prety sure i don't want to visit a shrink to explain me why i don't do that on cam

))) . plus i've always been shy , all my life. hard to belive , considering i've been doing this for quite a while. maybe i will figure it ou by myself sometime. Btw , you seem cool too:D

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Created by: z-money

3/16/18 @ 7:37pm (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Posts: 429

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I don't know, perhaps. Not realy sure what's the reason. And i am prety sure i don't want to visit a shrink to explain me why i don't do that on cam

))) . plus i've always been shy , all my life. hard to belive , considering i've been doing this for quite a while. maybe i will figure it ou by myself sometime. Btw , you seem cool too:D

I'm not going to get into it....but....having gay friends doesn't prevent you from being homophobic....
:orglaugh

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Created by: freneticallycalm

3/16/18 @ 9:59pm (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: California, USA
Posts: 63

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I'm not going to get into it....but....having gay friends doesn't prevent you from being homophobic....
:orglaugh

Z-Money's correct here. But the word "homophobic" doesn't mean "hateful" and "internalized homophobia" doesn't mean "suppressed hatred with a smile on the outside."
It's just that when our society demonizes a sexuality, there's a natural inclination to be resistant to "gayness" whether that's gayness from others (homophobia) or expressions of gayness in yourself (internalized homophobia).
Essentially, we all have some type of homophobia, sexism, racism, classism, etc. We have to actively acknowledge it and get over it.
If you dislike showing off your hole, it could be because of internalized homophobia but it could be a classist thing, like a feeling that "That's for the lower class."
It could come from multiple places. It could also just be some quirk you have and who knows why.

While we're analyzing each individual case of "anal shyness," I'm frustrated because I'm the paying customer who wants my fetishes catered to.
Yes, I'm sensitive, educated, caring and aware ... but I'm also a freak who's horny. Both are true at the same time. :angel

= ME!

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Created by: asti

3/17/18 @ 12:16am (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Posts: 3,985

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Nicely said FC.
I hope members learn what a performer is willing to show or do, before entering private shows or tipping. In the end, as members that is our responsibility and we can't blame the model if they don't comply. Now if they said they will show and then in private won't, well that is another thread.
As for why a performer won't show their hole and among other things, insert objects in said hole, have an erection, or cum, it could a hang up or maybe it is just be a line they won't cross. I've encountered performers who won't remove their underwear or won't get hard or will get hard but won't cum. They said they reserve that for their real life. Those performers know they could earn more money if they did these things yet they don't do them. It's their choice. I think that has to be respected.
Good luck on this hole search.

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Created by: perfessir

3/17/18 @ 3:39am (EST) |UTC - 5:00

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Calling something someone does "weird" is name calling? :orglaugh

"You can see all of me except X" is a hangup. You can call it preference if you want, but it's the same thing. The reason they don't/won't is something they are hung up on, usually being that they don't want to appear submissive or "THAT" gay. BUT, I have seen some NASTY NASTY holes on here, so please continue to hide them if that's the case.

:angel

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Created by: z-money

3/17/18 @ 10:50am (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Posts: 429

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Yes and yes, FC and Asti! :thumbsup

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Created by: freneticallycalm

3/20/18 @ 2:22am (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: California, USA
Posts: 63

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Yes, calling someone weird is name calling. "Weird" and "hangup" both carry negative connotations, and have for longer than you've been alive. My choice of chocolate ice cream over chocolate chip cookies is a preference, not a weird hangup. If your model boy doesn't want to show his butt hole, and you want to see butt hole, just go to another room and tip the butt hole on your screen. I don't understand what's to complain about or analyze here.

You're the only one placin ga negative connotation of the word weird. Maybe it meant something bad where you grew up but that's not true in the rest of the country.
You're "tone policing" and it's really annoying. Just accept what was meant by the original terminology without trying so damn hard to get offended. A sex site is no place for SJWs to come and badget everyone else for having a simple conversation.
Speak to what we're saying and stop trying to get us to say things in the way you prefer as it your preference is some universally understood language. It's not. You're alone.
Deal.

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Created by: asti

3/20/18 @ 7:38am (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Posts: 3,985

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Perfessir, instead of weird think quirky. :thumbsup

I personally know someone who uses the word weird to describe things they either don't like, or don't understand. They never try to either. Whenever they say it I just shake my head. :helpme

Your experiences may have brought you to dislike "weird"...so yeah use quirky it's whimsical. :guitar

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Created by: gloababatrana

3/20/18 @ 10:59am (EST) |UTC - 5:00

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You're the only one placin ga negative connotation of the word weird. Maybe it meant something bad where you grew up but that's not true in the rest of the country.
You're "tone policing" and it's really annoying. Just accept what was meant by the original terminology without trying so damn hard to get offended. A sex site is no place for SJWs to come and badget everyone else for having a simple conversation.
Speak to what we're saying and stop trying to get us to say things in the way you prefer as it your preference is some universally understood language. It's not. You're alone.
Deal.

There is no world in which calling something a "weird hangup" is a non-judgmental statement.

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Created by: freneticallycalm

3/20/18 @ 2:38pm (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: California, USA
Posts: 63

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There is no world in which calling something a "weird hangup" is a non-judgmental statement.

Welcome to the Twilight Zone.
Imagine, if you will, a world in which words mean what they're definitions are. A world where people don't try to get offended by connotation. A world where denotation is merely understood. This weird world of logic and objectivity eschews the hang ups emotionality and hypersensitivity.
You've just entered ... The Reason Zone.

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Created by: gloababatrana

3/20/18 @ 2:48pm (EST) |UTC - 5:00

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Welcome to the Twilight Zone.
Imagine, if you will, a world in which words mean what they're definitions are. A world where people don't try to get offended by connotation. A world where denotation is merely understood. This weird world of logic and objectivity eschews the hang ups emotionality and hypersensitivity.
You've just entered ... The Reason Zone.

I suggest, then, that you look up the definitions of "weird" and "hangup." I never said I was offended. I simply said that calling someone's preference, or boundaries, a "weird hangup" is indeed judgmental. Bottom line (pardon the pun), no one has to explain to you why they don't want to do certain things, whatever those things might be. If you can't get a model to do what you want, move on. (PS If you want your pseudo-intellectual ramblings to be taken seriously, try learning the difference between "their" and "they're." Just sayin'.)

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Created by: freneticallycalm

3/20/18 @ 5:17pm (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: California, USA
Posts: 63

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I suggest, then, that you look up the definitions of "weird" and "hangup." I never said I was offended. I simply said that calling someone's preference, or boundaries, a "weird hangup" is indeed judgmental. Bottom line (pardon the pun), no one has to explain to you why they don't want to do certain things, whatever those things might be. If you can't get a model to do what you want, move on. (PS If you want your pseudo-intellectual ramblings to be taken seriously, try learning the difference between "their" and "they're." Just sayin'.)

Usually when someone refers to someone else as a "pseudo-intellectual" it's because they feel intellectually inferior. If you think a bad run through of the Twilight Zone intro counts as an intellectual attempt, I can see why you feel the way you do.
Also ... misspellings happen. Do you want to be my Editor-in-Flirt?
In any case, at no point did I make any demand for explanation or create expectation that certain behavior is required of any model. Now you're trying to insinuated I'm assaulting someone through a computer screen. This is why people loathe SJWs, as I mentioned to perfessir prior to your response to me.
I was expressing my own sexual nature in the form of a frustration. Apparently to you, what amounts to venting a frustration on a message board is tantamount to excessive demand in a cam room. Your solution seems to be censorship.
At any point, did it ever occur to you that perhaps you're the one who's out of line or over-the-top?

P.S. You don't have to SAY you're offended for everyone to see that you're offended. You just have to respond with tone policing.

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