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Forums / Male Performer Chat

The Forum - Where Everybody knows your Name
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Male Performer Chat: The Forum - Where Everybody knows your Name
Created by: chrisdk

7/20/16 @ 6:22am (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: Spain, longing for Denmark
Posts: 2,447

A concept that is already several thousands of years old and from which modern social networks evolved.
A gathering place of great social significance, and the scene of diverse activities.
A forum.
What is its purpose? How can we make the best use of it?

(a) What is a Forum?

At the very heart of ancient Greek and Roman civil life stood the market place not just for the selling of goods but also for the public debate.
The early forums - translated to "public place outdoors" - served the public exchange and development of ideas among citizens; political candidates would give their election speeches here. Open and free discussions on equal footing were a premise involving everybody: slaves and masters, men and women, military men and civilians, peasants and political rulers.

(b) Flirt4Free's Community Forums

""" These forums are available for you to discuss the site, our webcam performers and other topics with the entire community that enjoys Flirt 4 Free. Please explore, interact and have fun while always being respectful of the other community members. """ (official, main description)

In April 2009, veteran member LickaU exclaimed in his "Class Act - This Forum and Flirt4Free" thread:
"""I am not sure , but this may be ONLY Adult site where members and now models have a place to discuss and communicate ."""
(for completeness: http://www.flirt4free.com/forums/threads.php?forum_id=4&thread_id=1155)
Flirt4Free is a special place. If you have made it to the forums - even as a silent, occasional reader - you'll know what I mean.

Today, several forums are open to both members and models and invite fans of the site to connect and interact with models in a place where we are all considered equal partners. It offers the possibility to discuss common interests amongst members as well as amongst performers in a way that all can stay informed about current problems, ideas and developments.
Quote
Created by: chrisdk

7/20/16 @ 6:33am (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: Spain, longing for Denmark
Posts: 2,447

(c) Best practice or How to make best use of it?

Remember everybody has a "voice".
If you are not interested in a specific topic or discussion, simply ignore it. Don't roll your virtual eyes when you see yet another "I am new here guys!" thread.
There is no need to get enraged about what others feel they would like to say. What is it that YOU want to talk about? Do not think you are the only one with this or that idea, issue or thought. Reach out to your fellows and see what can be done. There is for sure a number of models here who would love to help you out ... Every Jack will find his ... Jack.

Whether you have questions on technical aspects about how to make use of the site
[ How to use the VOD section? What can lists be used for? Why bother setting up a user profile? ]
, or want to debate on the pros and cons of apparent standards
[ Naked in open chat? What I like about the Ohmibod. Why are grey users allowed in party chat? ]
, or ask for interaction with models
[ How to approach a model with my fetish? How to bring my perfect show to life? What experiences have other members made with the Kiiroo device? ]
, or want to relax and have some fun
[ Time to play a game. I had this random thought I had to share. Recent sports results that get me excited. My favorite movie of all times. ]
, or you want to promote a model who has become special to you
[ Check this model out. Save the date for this special show. Guess who is back from vacation? ]
, or you'd like to discuss general aspects of the site involving models
[ Models with great eyes, smile and personality. Best Ass on the site. Why are Russian models so great? What are the roles members and performers could take? ]
, or you are simply curious about your fellows
[ What was your first kiss like? How did your coming out go? How's military service in your country like? What was your first ever job? ]

As a model, you can equally reach out to members and your fellow performers. Self-promotion is a valid way to do so
[ I am new. My fetish speciality. ]
, or you can resolve any doubts you are having about the site
[ What to put as a group goal? Do members want to see costumes? Why do I always get rude clients? Should I get an interactive device? ]

All this and so much more is what a forum is for. Everybody is allowed to voice his or her opinions, promote themselves or ask for help, give their thoughts, desires, wishes, doubts, and file complaints.
Always respectfully and responsibly and without attacking others!

My hope is that more people will find the courage to step forward, connect with other interested people and help to catalyze discussions and find new ways to make this forum a place of lively exchange.
There is a place and a time for complaints, but even more so for stimulating discussions about a bright future.
I believe this forum offers us so many opportunities. Let us seize them!
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Created by: chrisdk

7/20/16 @ 6:39am (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: Spain, longing for Denmark
Posts: 2,447

(d) I end with Athenian statesman Pericles' awesome Funeral Oration of the year 430, recorded by Thucydides in Book II of his History of the Peloponnesian War:
"""
Our government is called a democracy because power resides not in a few people but in the majority of our citizens. But every person has equal rights before the law; prestige and respect are paid those who win them by their merits, regardless of their political, economic or social status and no-one is deprived of making his contribution to the city's welfare.

We are equally fair-minded in tolerating differences in people's private concerns; we do not get irritated with our neighbours when they do what they like or show those signs of disapproval which do no great harm but are certainly unpleasant.

In our public dealings we have respect for our officials and the laws, especially those laws which protect the helpless and those unwritten laws whose violation is generally regarded as shameful...

We love beauty without extravagance and wisdom without weakness of will. Wealth we regard not as a means for private display but rather for public service; and poverty we consider no disgrace although we think it a disgrace not to try to overcome it.

We believe a man should be concerned about public as well as private affairs for we regard the person who takes no part in politics not as merely uninterested but as useless. We reach decisions on public policy only after full discussion, believing that sound judgement, far from being impeded by discussion, is arrived at only when full information is considered before a decision is made.
"""
Quote
Created by: virgilcircle9

7/21/16 @ 5:28am (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: universities of the world
Posts: 342

Chris has developed great ideas about what the forum should be all about and the different topics and subjects/ ideas that can/should be discussed. As we all understand, a forum, or message board, is a discussion site where people can hold conversations. Conversation is the key word, but It seems at the moment as is demonstrated over many threads two major flaws exist.
Firstly we all know that many people have many different opinions and these are genuine ideas, or just fun thread postings. Great. But it is unfortunate that some postings revert to comments about the person holding those ideas and the passing of provocative comments about them rather than the idea they are expressing. In a forum of any kind it is the idea and the "Why" that must be developed.. not the "You and you idea are stupid" approach, with minimal, or even no, further comment. In any forum, or discussion, people must realize that they have two ears and one brain, and one tongue that is controlled by the brain i.e. listen think, then talk! ( within this forum you have two eyes so the principle is the same)
Secondly, there are some concerns being expressed that visitor and contributors to the forums are reducing This could be the result of two things:
The first of these could be the reasons explained in the second paragraph. The second reason is "What is the point of expressing an idea? Within the proper forum systems, dating back to Roman times, all people contributed From the lowest worker to the greatest of senators, or even the emperor. Yes, many of the topics relate to the sharing of ideas between performers and their audience, but many others need the involvement of the senators. Yes the forum senators do sometimes speak, but unfortunately in a very proforma way but without any "how, when, why" attached to the comment. Why really did Brutus eliminate Caesar??? (Eliiminate had to be used because the system would not accept many of the alternative words)
The forums should be fun and informative and ideas or questions expressed should follow the What Why How Where When approach that most of us were taught at school
Let's start going on Chris's ideas.
Here is an idea. That for everyone's sanity F4F should clear all of the postings in each of the forums except for possibly the top 10. This would eliminate the huge repetition of the same ideas expressed in many different threads. This would establish some uniformity rather than having to search everywhere (An example., look for the many themes in the VIP and male sections that involve grey/basic user comment, or the same for respect for performers and models). A date could be established for this action to be undertaken and advertised; then a fresh start could be made.
Quote
Created by: lllum

7/21/16 @ 9:30am (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: Green Town, Illinois

Between stimulus and response there is a space.
In that space is our power to choose our response.
In our response lies our growth and our freedom.
Viktor E. Frankl
Quote
Created by: gofish

7/25/16 @ 1:26am (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: IN YOUR DREAMS
Posts: 1,855

Chris has developed great ideas about what the forum should be all about and the different topics and subjects/ ideas that can/should be discussed. As we all understand, a forum, or message board, is a discussion site where people can hold conversations. Conversation is the key word, but It seems at the moment as is demonstrated over many threads two major flaws exist.
Firstly we all know that many people have many different opinions and these are genuine ideas, or just fun thread postings. Great. But it is unfortunate that some postings revert to comments about the person holding those ideas and the passing of provocative comments about them rather than the idea they are expressing. In a forum of any kind it is the idea and the "Why" that must be developed.. not the "You and you idea are stupid" approach, with minimal, or even no, further comment. In any forum, or discussion, people must realize that they have two ears and one brain, and one tongue that is controlled by the brain i.e. listen think, then talk! ( within this forum you have two eyes so the principle is the same)
Secondly, there are some concerns being expressed that visitor and contributors to the forums are reducing This could be the result of two things:
The first of these could be the reasons explained in the second paragraph. The second reason is "What is the point of expressing an idea? Within the proper forum systems, dating back to Roman times, all people contributed From the lowest worker to the greatest of senators, or even the emperor. Yes, many of the topics relate to the sharing of ideas between performers and their audience, but many others need the involvement of the senators. Yes the forum senators do sometimes speak, but unfortunately in a very proforma way but without any "how, when, why" attached to the comment. Why really did Brutus eliminate Caesar??? (Eliiminate had to be used because the system would not accept many of the alternative words)
The forums should be fun and informative and ideas or questions expressed should follow the What Why How Where When approach that most of us were taught at school
Let's start going on Chris's ideas.
Here is an idea. That for everyone's sanity F4F should clear all of the postings in each of the forums except for possibly the top 10. This would eliminate the huge repetition of the same ideas expressed in many different threads. This would establish some uniformity rather than having to search everywhere (An example., look for the many themes in the VIP and male sections that involve grey/basic user comment, or the same for respect for performers and models). A date could be established for this action to be undertaken and advertised; then a fresh start could be made.


virgilcircle9 after reading your posting one has to take a very DEEP breath :orglaugh :orglaugh
Interesting comments and yes the forum should be the place for everyone to express their thoughts. Any negative feedback is pretty much pointless, but alas that is something one has to expect.
As to limiting the forum postings sort of think that is like censorship which would not be in the best interest of all the readers. Often an old thread finds new life. Many postings provide a range of information and a few chuckles ago the way.
You bring up some interesting thoughts there though.
:thumbsup :thumbsup
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Created by: lickau

7/27/16 @ 9:51pm (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: Moving slowly but surely somewhere sometime
Posts: 29,285

I like that the forums sometimes makes people THINK differently :twocents

It would be boring if everyone always agrees .

Chris takes time to process and think out all her posts before , during and after .
She loves feedback :bulb
Chris is not afraid to tackle problems here :bowdown

Cheers :drinkup :drinkup :drinkup :drinkup :drinkup :drinkup :drinkup :drinkup :drinkup
Quote
Created by: chrisdk

7/28/16 @ 6:51am (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: Spain, longing for Denmark
Posts: 2,447

:) I agree with @gofish, that @virgil's suggestion about a fresh start removing almost all existing threads is quite radical.
The important(!) thing @virgil talks about is HOW we should talk to each other, which I want to highlight here again:

But it is unfortunate that some postings revert to comments about the person holding those ideas and the passing of provocative comments about them rather than the idea they are expressing. In a forum of any kind it is the idea and the "Why" that must be developed.. not the "You and you idea are stupid" approach, with minimal, or even no, further comment.
[...]
The forums should be fun and informative and ideas or questions expressed should follow the What Why How Where When approach that most of us were taught at school

Also @virgil puts an emphasis on "THINK" before you react, which @Illum summarized so delicately (thanks for that).

As a milder form to wiping out all the threads, I'd rather suggest to set a maximum age of a thread's last post (and I am talking about 1-2 years here ...). If it hits this date, it could be removed just for reasons of cleaning up and making things more clearly laid out. Remember, this is an ever changing site with respect to performers working and members visiting. New people bring fresh ideas and impressions and hopefully novel contributions to this forum.
Also I believe, you will never get rid of repetition or be able to make people contribute to a single "Advice for Newbies", "Respect" etc. thread and "that is like censorship" indeed as @gofish put it.

To say it more clearly:
I do not think it should be our aim to restrict people who want to contribute to the forum!
I am rather looking for ways to get more people interested (and indeed less reluctant or afraid or ... ? ) into sharing their thoughts and ideas.

I also understand @gofish's concern about such a removal of older threads, but I feel it would be something to think about, if totally or partially. If you really feel nostalgia about a very old thread, make a copy for yourself and let it go ...
I really like this one old thread I stumbled across about how to shave balls (it's funny in it's sincereness) ... but what the heck, let's start this again and see what our current performers have to say to that!? :)

Thanks, LickaU, for your kindness and friendship, but I am not at all brave, I just can't shut up ... which brings me to my next thought about forums, that I need to share.
Quote
Created by: chrisdk

7/28/16 @ 7:20am (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: Spain, longing for Denmark
Posts: 2,447

(e) On a forum, you will always have people participate with different levels of commitment:

> High demand users, who come here, read pretty much everything and respond on a daily basis - admittedly to pretty much everything again. Typically they make only 10%-15% of the total users.

> The most common user will read only posts that spark his/her interest and respond to what (s)he finds interesting or important and maybe just once a week. Those are typically 50%-80% of the active users.

> And then there is a number of people who read on the forum, probably on a daily basis, too, without or very rarely engaging in the ongoing discussions. Those are some 20% of visitors.

You could make further differentiations, but the only important party to add in this would be
> Admins and Forum Moderators.
The latter term doesn't apply to Flirt though and we are all by ourselves, no guidance from our "forum senators" as @virgil had coined it earlier. The role of admins during discussions would be to avoid the arising frustration coming from contributors attacking or questioning each other and their ideas on a less constructive level. Maybe we are lacking this here?
An interesting point to discuss separately? Would the presence of official forum moderators - which we kinda have in the fetish Forums, trying to give new impulses and discussion there, but not here ... - make this an overall better forum and improve the atmosphere here?

Anyhow, given the distribution of active members, in order to have a successful forum, you need a rather high number of participants!
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