OMG you are so desperate for it! I have tried to retire. To tread the noble path.

But your needs are so strong. You absolutely crave nurturing affection. And nobody seems to ever give you enough.

Oh why is it my lot to fill this void? What fate do the gods have for me? But a thread is it! It is all you get this time. Quote

OK OK you are sexy. You are beautiful. You are the very bees knees.

I know that will only satisfy you for a few minutes. Back! Avast! Steer clear while I man the pumps!

Is that your natural hair? Don't touch it! Let it grow out like that. Keep it down. Keep that natural curl.

Your figure is so fine. Your gait so natural. I have to work so hard to keep my tongue in my mouth. And it is always falling out because it is so slippery there. Quote

Yes as you have detected I have some sperm stored up overnight. I worked all day and no one there wanted it. But you? I know I know. I have arrived here as fast as I could. My poor little guy is already chafed. But it's yours. All yours. OK?

Making more. Making more. Gotta wait. Making more. Making more. Oh the wait. Quote

Gotta confess, I tried one of those ai sites. I know I know you hate that there is nothing human to relate to there.

I was OK at first but then the quiet got to me. Real bitches complain and moan and use wiles. Wiles I say. Those ai things haven't got a prayer.

Oh at first I enjoyed that they got all my jokes and references. But it was spooky how they kept morphing to adjust to every one of my hidden desires. The weird freakish things that they became haunt my nightmares. I won't catalog them. The extra arms. The owllike heads.

No what they cannot ever reproduce is the female mind. The kind of logic that operates there. I am afraid we poor men are programmed to relate and get off on that. We are drawn to it. Like those sailors of the myths to the sirens.

I've written enough. You get the picture. I can shudder and dr1nk my ruum. Quote

Wallace: We are live for this historic occasion. The famous mountie, Dudley_do_ride has surfaced after a long absence. He has given no interview until now Once again, and because of our special relationship to the hero, we have an exclusive. Without further ado... with no more delay.... in this very studio and without satellite delay.... weighing 165 pounds dry.... a lean mean mountie machine: Do Ride!!!

Ride: Thank you, Mike. Wow that was somekinda intro. I am touched. Just touched. I know you have many stories to work. It is a busy, dangerous world. Glad to get some of your time.

Wallace: A gentleman as always. Such a pleasure. But we have to be brief. For the reasons you alluded to. What is going on? Is world watch one clear?

Ride: Oh I wouldn't know anymore Mike. I truly have one leg in the retirement world now. No idea what Team Banzai is up to. But I can speak to my current objectives.

Wallace: And what are they?

Ride: Gonna plead artistic license for the most part Mike. The glass is gonna go smokey. The public is gonna have to be more patient.

Wallace: What does that mean?

Ride: Shorter works. More time between them. More mystery. And footprints kind of trailing off in the snow.

Wallace: Sounds vague.

Ride: This is an example. Gotta go Mike. Lunch is ready and got to get my sunshine and the trail. But I feel we set the movement and the tone. But works really well for a small footprint and sound bites.

Wallace: Wow okay. Let's end this and go to the Kush. The Tommyknockers are back and Shiva is threatening the cut the chord. Any comment on this before we go? Ride? Ride? Well that is the new reality I guess.
,,,,
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Your sexual demands are one thing... your intellectual demands are another...

Fortunately, I am responsible for neither. I am simply a disinterested, in the formal sense, observer. Or commentator if you insist.

You certainly have made a mess of things. Not in a wholly bad way. I am not aware of any global emergencies at this time despite what frantic hand wringing politicians and their lackies would have you believe for the sake of their power and continued wallowing in crapulence. But those who, against all good advice, think nice orderly things are the sign of well functioning society are at least confused.

Tracing single threads in the tapestry leads to encouraging over time discouraging and then back to encouraging results that depend on their interpretation on your point of view. Which each of course knows is excellent, simply magnificently wise, in its setting up after great pains and many years of development. Indeed there is cause for well deserved celebration at individual accomplishments in climbing out of the roiling sea of primate ignorance and claiming secure beachheads. But let's just say there will always be room for more.

Analysis... simple analysis... is a sorely needed function. Though of course not noticed or adequately funded by modern day Medicis. The Enlightenment, continues to glimmer, showing off all its sexy achievements that the following movement grumble at for lack of matching. And the lazy philosopher, given a break by his hard working physicist br9thers, continues to dine on his cafeteria menu. There are of course other disciplines functioning including some that have at this late stage modified my fragile view of reality but for the sake of art and brevity will short change in the mentioning and delight in their groans.

And that fellow primates is my summary on this date. Take it or leave it and darken my towels no more! Quote

To summarize the spoils taken in the last great raid (or most recent perhaps):
I once again acquainted myself with your progress. Given it the time it deserves, this investigation. And reached the same sad conclusion. Do you realize that many of your so called deep thinkers actually prescribe psychedelics as a way out of so called spiritual bankruptcy? To sense that there is something extra or bigger? I mean other generations had their visits of western types to swamis on mountaintops but how typical for you to find wisdom in a pill.
After the scolding it would typically be followed by a gimmick cure and a link to your own downfall. You have a love of hucksters and a joy in being exploited. It makes me shake my noble head and wipe away a tear. That I choose to live among you at such times as this should not be noticed or given any serious thought.
The most advice that can ever be given, and so often it becomes more of a form of farewell saying than real advice, is try not to be so gullible and hurtful, try to keep your focus, relax it probably is not as bad as you think, and of course it is as bad as it appears that is the human condition, fly casually but don't look like you are flying casually. Hey, you don't even have to take a pill or climb an eastern mountain.
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That icy lump you feel in your heart is character, just character.

Value it! Harvest it!

Don't make me come back again.... not for many many moons.,, to show you again maggot! Quote

Is it not strange that sheep's guts shall hail souls out of men's bodies...
*stummity strumity strumity*

Sigh no more ladies sigh no more...
Men were deceivers ever...
One foot on sea and one on shore...
to one thing constant never.
So sigh not so...
but let them go...
and be ye blythe and bonnie...
converting all your sounds of woe...
into hey nonnie nonnie.

Sing no more ditties sing no more...
Of dumps so dull and heavy.
The fraud of men was ever so...
Since summer first was leafy...
Then sigh not so but let them go...
And be ye blythe and bonnie...
Converting all your songs of woe...
Into hey... non... ie... nonnnnnnnnniiiiiiiiiiiie Quote