Forum Topics
Female Performer Chat: The Ambivalent Thread
Created by:
dudley_do_ride
9/11/17 @ 8:46am
(EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,267
I've thought about starting this topic for years. I woke up with a purpose and yet... now I wonder if it was such a good idea.
Ah well, I suppose I will continue, at least for a time. There sure aren't any emoticons that seem appropriate. Everyone and everything are soooo sure of it all. I used to be but then something happened. I'm not sure which event it was that triggered my rethinking of it.
Oh it occurs to me now that I could alternate emoticons.
for example. Although now that I think on it, I can see it is a fallacy. After all Athos is a deep thinker albeit a brooder and heavy drinker. I lit upon 
but is that really true? If I shift the light illuminating them just a bit can't I make the one into the other? Why even in the most popular accounts in angelology it is the highest angel that becomes the most base devil. I apologize for seeing clear sky where there must be admitted a great deal of mist.Not that mist is a bad thing. There are some desert plants that survive by pulling the mist out of the air. I apologize to those plants. I think their tiny leaves are kind of cute by the way. Except when I wake in the middle of the night with visions of them leaving purple blotches on my skin from sucking my moisture out by contact. They don't really do that. Not yet. We'll see what evolution brings.
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Created by:
dudley_do_ride
9/11/17 @ 9:23pm
(EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,267
Yeah no responses. I have mixed feelings about that. On the one hand I don't get distracted by links. On the other hand there is no check on my meandering. That is how it always is. Except for a number of exceptions that we can't go into.
I am at that point in life which is you know the high point for some things and the low point for others. I don't think that has skewed my reasoning although now that I think of it, there is a good chance it has. For me everything is at least a dichotomy now. Only when I am fatigued. On the issues that matter I see on average eight sides to the coin.
It is not the strength that each holds. No. It is the mere existence. So I get by with likelihood functions hour to hour.
Of course I consider multiple distributions underlying. I mean how safe can it be to assume normal distributions? You gonna roll those dice?
Are there any numbers truly large enough that you feel safe? With your fast assumptions?
Yeah I've been burned by my assumptions. More than by my consumptions. Though I do have a belly that one of my doctors wants me to get rid of. Hmmm That one of my doctors would like to rid me of. No... that one of my doctors recommends me losing. Nnnnnn That a doctor, that I sometimes go to, though not all the time because I appreciate many inputs, took the time to advise me on the ill effects of my girth.
I don't like doctors. They all have different opinions and they are very sure of them. Not that I am reassured by a unison choir of opinion. That really puts me on my guard.
Oh the phone is ringing. I'd better answer. You never know what it could be.
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I am at that point in life which is you know the high point for some things and the low point for others. I don't think that has skewed my reasoning although now that I think of it, there is a good chance it has. For me everything is at least a dichotomy now. Only when I am fatigued. On the issues that matter I see on average eight sides to the coin.
It is not the strength that each holds. No. It is the mere existence. So I get by with likelihood functions hour to hour.
Of course I consider multiple distributions underlying. I mean how safe can it be to assume normal distributions? You gonna roll those dice?
Are there any numbers truly large enough that you feel safe? With your fast assumptions?
Yeah I've been burned by my assumptions. More than by my consumptions. Though I do have a belly that one of my doctors wants me to get rid of. Hmmm That one of my doctors would like to rid me of. No... that one of my doctors recommends me losing. Nnnnnn That a doctor, that I sometimes go to, though not all the time because I appreciate many inputs, took the time to advise me on the ill effects of my girth.
I don't like doctors. They all have different opinions and they are very sure of them. Not that I am reassured by a unison choir of opinion. That really puts me on my guard.
Oh the phone is ringing. I'd better answer. You never know what it could be.
Quote
Created by:
dudley_do_ride
9/12/17 @ 1:46am
(EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,267
Crew A: Mary Anne!
Crew B: Ginger!
A: Mary Fucking Anne!
B: Giiiiiiiiiinger!
Skipper: Threesome!
A & B: ?!?!
Skipper: Lovey!
A & B:
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Hmmmm........
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Created by:
dudley_do_ride
9/12/17 @ 7:29am
(EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,267
It sounds like the cast from Gilligan's Island, lol. Would they be playing on what will happen in an episode?
That's right: "Gilligan's Island... Back Again and Feeling Fine"
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That's right: "Gilligan's Island... Back Again and Feeling Fine"
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Created by:
dudley_do_ride
9/12/17 @ 7:35am
(EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,267
No: Fu! My man! How's it hanging?
Fu: Low and lean like always my brother.
No: But why do you look distressed? Trouble in paradise?
Fu: I regret that I have a visit by a long lost uncle. On my wife's side. I am not pleased that my aunt has not come as well.
No: I know. At heart you are a family man.
Fu: So true. So true. I have the Snake Pit. And have just added the Swinging Pendulum of Death. I am aching to try it out.
No: No!
Fu: Yes! With only one relative and my empty prisons, how will I ever decide? You can only stretch a man so far.
No: Oh oh ha ha. A rack joke too! You are da man Fu.
Fu: Don't I a know it! Quote
Created by:
dudley_do_ride
9/12/17 @ 8:00am
(EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,267
*bum dish de dish dish de dish buuuuum*
Johny Moon: Maybe here... here in this crazy confused world... I can finally escape my evil twin... finally avoid the: ... White... Comanche.
Nora: Oh Johny this can be your place. Your time. Stay with me now!
Notah: Fool! I will track you to the ends of this earth.
Johnny Moon: Dammit! Curse... you... White... ... ... Comanche. Drink the devil drug and dream your dreams of hate!
Nora: No!!!!
Notah: You... why should I listen to you? Mother only raised one man.
Johnny: All... you.. were... ever... ever... ever... good for... was thieving... merdering... r8ping... burning...
Notah: And you... what of you? You never could decide. Between your people and these weak, pitiful farmers.
Johnny: Enough... ... talk. ... ... ... Let's... settle... this like men.
Notah: Rifles then. On horseback. In the center of town.
Johnny: No! Tomahawks... at dawn... at... the... edge... of town.
Notah: Fool! Knives and war clubs in Devil's canyon!
Johnny: Revolvers... twenty... paces... outside... The Little Bear Saloon.
Nora: Oh no! Can't we get along? Can't there be peace amongst us all?
Johnny & Notah: SHUT UP YOU!!!!
Notah: Wet buckskin with sharp buttons! Outside of Clyde Clay's You Plug 'Em, We Plant 'Em, Mortuarial Boutique
Johnny: Oh... how... much... more... can... I... take??!? Tortured... forever... by.. this fiend... The White... Comanche!
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Johny Moon: Maybe here... here in this crazy confused world... I can finally escape my evil twin... finally avoid the: ... White... Comanche.
Nora: Oh Johny this can be your place. Your time. Stay with me now!
Notah: Fool! I will track you to the ends of this earth.
Johnny Moon: Dammit! Curse... you... White... ... ... Comanche. Drink the devil drug and dream your dreams of hate!
Nora: No!!!!
Notah: You... why should I listen to you? Mother only raised one man.
Johnny: All... you.. were... ever... ever... ever... good for... was thieving... merdering... r8ping... burning...
Notah: And you... what of you? You never could decide. Between your people and these weak, pitiful farmers.
Johnny: Enough... ... talk. ... ... ... Let's... settle... this like men.
Notah: Rifles then. On horseback. In the center of town.
Johnny: No! Tomahawks... at dawn... at... the... edge... of town.
Notah: Fool! Knives and war clubs in Devil's canyon!
Johnny: Revolvers... twenty... paces... outside... The Little Bear Saloon.
Nora: Oh no! Can't we get along? Can't there be peace amongst us all?
Johnny & Notah: SHUT UP YOU!!!!
Notah: Wet buckskin with sharp buttons! Outside of Clyde Clay's You Plug 'Em, We Plant 'Em, Mortuarial Boutique
Johnny: Oh... how... much... more... can... I... take??!? Tortured... forever... by.. this fiend... The White... Comanche!
Quote
Created by:
dudley_do_ride
9/14/17 @ 2:03am
(EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,267
The Love Vulture screeched his defiance to all that's good and went into a power dive. His dark shadow raced along the sunlit, mountainous terrain below. Lesser beings dived into crags, slithered into crags, dived into trenches to the satisfaction of his fast darting, fierce eye.
As the wind tore off old feathers... making his visible outer layer shinier... his jowls vibrated rapidly. Oh he was on the hunt. Oh he was in his prime.
Love Vulture! Air raid sirens started to blare as he passed over a remote village. He only inclined his dive a few degrees more. His sharp eyes had acquired his quarry miles ago... minutes ago... thousands of feet ago.
Now he broke his streamlined glide profile by stretching out his powerful talons. It felt good to unlimber them. It would be better still when he plunged them into his victim... to rip out the still beating heart. Screeching all the while in wild delight.
Then a quick brief raise to make a dramatic wheel in the air and another dive deep into the jungle where at full speed he would splatter the now much less vigorously beating heart against the temple wall... his temple wall... where those who worshipped him left offerings. They would dance in the bl00dy remains and sing their hymns of adoration to him. Not that he would listen. He always strong stroked back to his lair for some wind down cig smoking.
Beware lest the Love Vulture get his sharp claws into your heart!
Quote
As the wind tore off old feathers... making his visible outer layer shinier... his jowls vibrated rapidly. Oh he was on the hunt. Oh he was in his prime.
Love Vulture! Air raid sirens started to blare as he passed over a remote village. He only inclined his dive a few degrees more. His sharp eyes had acquired his quarry miles ago... minutes ago... thousands of feet ago.
Now he broke his streamlined glide profile by stretching out his powerful talons. It felt good to unlimber them. It would be better still when he plunged them into his victim... to rip out the still beating heart. Screeching all the while in wild delight.
Then a quick brief raise to make a dramatic wheel in the air and another dive deep into the jungle where at full speed he would splatter the now much less vigorously beating heart against the temple wall... his temple wall... where those who worshipped him left offerings. They would dance in the bl00dy remains and sing their hymns of adoration to him. Not that he would listen. He always strong stroked back to his lair for some wind down cig smoking.
Beware lest the Love Vulture get his sharp claws into your heart!
Quote
Created by:
dudley_do_ride
9/15/17 @ 1:11am
(EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,267
It was the best of times... It was the worst of times...
An orange faced man sat in a white house... A short dumpy man squatted in a mad missile firing house...
A shirtless man road bareback on a bear... A red nosed man got stuck on a zip line.
In all respects it was a time of strong passions. And great ambivalence.
Men reached in a relaxed way for the stars... Women had power brunches in bars...
Nations traded shares in Mars... alternative fuel more commonly powers cars.
It was a time of great heart. It was a time of ruthless conniving.
Couples wed with great expectations. Coupled divorced after painful depositions.
The fashion was practical yet having some flair. Even Gaga was mellow in styling her hair.
Jello was down and kale was up. Rates were low and profits were high. Yet disproportionate slices were made of the pie.
Never were rights granted so often on high. But for them how many now would die?
Man was now as ever he was. But each life made the next's more easier to bear.
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An orange faced man sat in a white house... A short dumpy man squatted in a mad missile firing house...
A shirtless man road bareback on a bear... A red nosed man got stuck on a zip line.
In all respects it was a time of strong passions. And great ambivalence.
Men reached in a relaxed way for the stars... Women had power brunches in bars...
Nations traded shares in Mars... alternative fuel more commonly powers cars.
It was a time of great heart. It was a time of ruthless conniving.
Couples wed with great expectations. Coupled divorced after painful depositions.
The fashion was practical yet having some flair. Even Gaga was mellow in styling her hair.
Jello was down and kale was up. Rates were low and profits were high. Yet disproportionate slices were made of the pie.
Never were rights granted so often on high. But for them how many now would die?
Man was now as ever he was. But each life made the next's more easier to bear.
Quote
Created by:
dudley_do_ride
9/16/17 @ 12:26pm
(EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,267
M Gloria: What is the opposite of driving forward in 4th gear.
Ted: Sitting in your car while it is in park.
M Gloria: *WHACK!* Does not the car have a reverse gear?
Ted: Oh ow! Ok OK. Going backward in reverse gear.
M Gloria: *WHACK WHACK WHAKKITTTTY WHACK WHACK!* Are you not still moving in some direction?
Ted: Sonnova OUCH! M... YOWCH! Ok Ok Driving forward and then reversing back and then doing that again.
M Gloria: *WHHHHHHHFFFFFFFFFFFFF CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACKKKKKK!!!!!* Oh so just one dimension?
Ted: Ow Ow Ow Ow OWWWWWWWWWW!!!! Ok It is a magic car and it is going up down right left in a completely random way with random speeds.
M Gloria: *BOOOOOOOOOOIIIIIIIIIIIING CRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRACKIMUS MAXIMUS!!!!* Oh so only Euclidean space?
Ted: *sob* No more! No more! Random motion in not just 3 but 4 dimensions that are warped by some massive nearby object that is also spinning.
M Gloria: Good! You are lucky you didn't try any of that String Theory mumbo jumbo on me!
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Created by:
dudley_do_ride
9/20/17 @ 12:58am
(EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,267
Rage. White hot, thermonuclear, uninhibited, all consuming rage.
Focused to a point. Directed with deadly cool calm. Saturating, capsizing, unstoppable beam of pure rage.
A puff of smoke... And no target remains.
Raining, steadily... guilt. Sense of forever altered reality.
Yet cold and hard steel the satisfaction that right, however dreadful, has prevailed. Utter refusal to attempt to alter the past.
Guuuuuuuiiiiiiiilllllllllt.
Triuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuummmmmph!
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U funny bugger 
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Quote
Created by:
dudley_do_ride
9/21/17 @ 10:41am
(EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,267
Created by:
dudley_do_ride
9/23/17 @ 8:11pm
(EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,267
I go now on a most important mission... to oversee the construction of the perfect medium sized pizza. It shall have pepperoni, green pepper and pineapple on a thick crust. And I will hear no insolence from any on those toppings! Instant removal by administrator to any such blasphemous post.
I live in a land that is a desert for pizza. In my college days I lived somewhere that knew how to make sauces. Where each faction would fight over whose recipe was the best. Where there was a type of pizza for each mood, each moment.
These days are gone for me. Even if I return to my old haunts those places have vanished though I believe the traditions are continued in other kitchens. But now is a foreign land that must be reconquered.
These are your... pizza days... cherish them... do not squander them.
Think about the compromise this poor, dottering shell of a man will be making as I take what I am given except for toppings that I make from some limited set. Even my body complains to me now... pointing out that my friends are eating stuff with strange sounding names made of squishy stuff that only rabbits get enthusiastic for. Act now and boldly enjoy your pizza days... your pizza days.
I will be walking joyfully back to my place with that warm, friendly box and instead of waves and smiles of encouragement I will get only the raised noses and scoffs of the well to do and boney. My march of triumph will be only in my own mind as the leering world speculates upon whether I intend to scarf it all in one sitting or use some slices, no doubt, to seduce some innocents to their doom.
Gone are the days when I could entice some hotties back to the general debauchery of a proud bachelor's casa d' debauchd'vlle by seductively waving a slice in front of them. Now I get only the attention of their purse pooches yipping as I march by. Perhaps pursued and mocked unknowingly by thin, sarcastic urchins whose parents never taught them how to recognize genius.
Oh the lessons I could teach upon all matters if given a respectful ear. But the low and dull are content to mock my sweat pants and my unfashionable hiking shoes. I will no doubt have to wait while someone loads up a pie with kale and spinach. Bleech!
So enjoy your pizza days. Your days of universal glee and boniness. Think not upon my march of defiance into the rays of the sinking sun in the western sky.
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Created by:
dudley_do_ride
9/24/17 @ 12:47pm
(EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,267
I dined last night with a number of my best buddies at our favorite sushi restaurant. The night was full of mirth and warmth. Wine flowed. We partook of the most sumptuous dishes. We were each in our best clothes, smelling of fine perfumes and colognes. It was a celebration of friendship and a thanksgiving for good fortune.
While still laughing a little from a particularly good story from a dear friend, I did chance to look out the window and see a rather odd fellow in sweat pants leading a kind of parade up the sidewalk. He was clearly a rascal. He had that look about him that made people reach for their wallets to make sure that they were still safely there.
Persephone leaned over, her large doe eyes wide and asked: "What do you have there?"
And I answered: "I don't really know. I think I have found the King of this city's rascals."
We watched in wonder as the parade moved up the sidewalk. A grown man. Carrying a pizza box. Defiantly it would seem. Trailed by a bunch of sarcastic, joking youngsters. Good lads really. But always ready to take a little air out of an over-inflated tire.
"I wonder if he is going to eat that all in one sitting" Persephone mused.
"I wonder if some innocent is going to be lured into a life of shame for the sordid price of a slice", I offered.
We both shuddered involuntarily and returned to our gathering. Reminded that the world could be a seedy and dangerous place indeed. Quote
While still laughing a little from a particularly good story from a dear friend, I did chance to look out the window and see a rather odd fellow in sweat pants leading a kind of parade up the sidewalk. He was clearly a rascal. He had that look about him that made people reach for their wallets to make sure that they were still safely there.
Persephone leaned over, her large doe eyes wide and asked: "What do you have there?"
And I answered: "I don't really know. I think I have found the King of this city's rascals."
We watched in wonder as the parade moved up the sidewalk. A grown man. Carrying a pizza box. Defiantly it would seem. Trailed by a bunch of sarcastic, joking youngsters. Good lads really. But always ready to take a little air out of an over-inflated tire.
"I wonder if he is going to eat that all in one sitting" Persephone mused.
"I wonder if some innocent is going to be lured into a life of shame for the sordid price of a slice", I offered.
We both shuddered involuntarily and returned to our gathering. Reminded that the world could be a seedy and dangerous place indeed. Quote
Created by:
dudley_do_ride
9/24/17 @ 2:20pm
(EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,267
Hildregard Hamhocker too saw the odd man's march up the sidewalk. She nearly collided with the car in front of her from the seeing. All at once she was a confusion of conflicting sensations and emotions. She was instantly breathless, instantly wet... heart beating like a bongo drum. She KNEW him!
Many years ago, oh how vivid was the memory, she had traded her innocence for a slice, a warm perfectly topped slice of this pied piper's pizza. It was... simply... her Golden Age. Oh the things they had done. Oh how virile... Oh how masterful... And she knew that she had got to him too. They could of married and had lots of k1ds.
But she had chosen otherwise. And as she absent mindedly fingered her diamond necklace and diamond earrings, gazing out the window of her Porshe, she wondered yet again if she had chosen wisely. The years had taken their toll upon him. It was clear. But she could tell it was the same man. Unbroken by Life. Still defiant. Still genius. She bit a knuckle to keep from rolling down the window and calling out to him. She wanted to. She wanted to give up all this life and go to him. But she couldn't. It wouldn't be fair. She had chosen. She must live with the consequences.
She saw the warm box in his hands. She saw the wiggle of his still sexy ass in those sweat pants... And weeping heavily weaved back into traffic and away from her tormentor.
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Many years ago, oh how vivid was the memory, she had traded her innocence for a slice, a warm perfectly topped slice of this pied piper's pizza. It was... simply... her Golden Age. Oh the things they had done. Oh how virile... Oh how masterful... And she knew that she had got to him too. They could of married and had lots of k1ds.
But she had chosen otherwise. And as she absent mindedly fingered her diamond necklace and diamond earrings, gazing out the window of her Porshe, she wondered yet again if she had chosen wisely. The years had taken their toll upon him. It was clear. But she could tell it was the same man. Unbroken by Life. Still defiant. Still genius. She bit a knuckle to keep from rolling down the window and calling out to him. She wanted to. She wanted to give up all this life and go to him. But she couldn't. It wouldn't be fair. She had chosen. She must live with the consequences.
She saw the warm box in his hands. She saw the wiggle of his still sexy ass in those sweat pants... And weeping heavily weaved back into traffic and away from her tormentor.
Quote
Created by:
dudley_do_ride
9/24/17 @ 4:32pm
(EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,267
Persephone went down on him hard yet again...
Her tan, smooth skin was streaked with tomato sauce. Of course it had been an act. When he had got to his door she was there waiting for him. Her nipples poking through her expensive silk blouse.
She was no innocent. But she took that slice... and went to the bank and cashed it.
Her moans made the neighbors cum in their Bermuda shorts as they were f0rced to listen to the havoc wrought upon her bony, sexy body as wave after orgasmic wave crushed her inhibitions to so much fine dust.
It was the fuck of a lifetime. She had no regrets for her lie. Her hurried scurry out the back door of the restaurant with no time even for some half-baked excuse. She would have to wear thick skin covering clothes the next day to hide the hickies, the hand prints, and other battle scars of this epic climatic conflict.
Quote
Her tan, smooth skin was streaked with tomato sauce. Of course it had been an act. When he had got to his door she was there waiting for him. Her nipples poking through her expensive silk blouse.
She was no innocent. But she took that slice... and went to the bank and cashed it.
Her moans made the neighbors cum in their Bermuda shorts as they were f0rced to listen to the havoc wrought upon her bony, sexy body as wave after orgasmic wave crushed her inhibitions to so much fine dust.
It was the fuck of a lifetime. She had no regrets for her lie. Her hurried scurry out the back door of the restaurant with no time even for some half-baked excuse. She would have to wear thick skin covering clothes the next day to hide the hickies, the hand prints, and other battle scars of this epic climatic conflict.
Quote
Persephone went down on him hard yet again...
Her tan, smooth skin was streaked with tomato sauce. Of course it had been an act. When he had got to his door she was there waiting for him. Her nipples poking through her expensive silk blouse.
She was no innocent. But she took that slice... and went to the bank and cashed it.
Her moans made the neighbors cum in their Bermuda shorts as they were f0rced to listen to the havoc wrought upon her bony, sexy body as wave after orgasmic wave crushed her inhibitions to so much fine dust.
It was the fuck of a lifetime. She had no regrets for her lie. Her hurried scurry out the back door of the restaurant with no time even for some half-baked excuse. She would have to wear thick skin covering clothes the next day to hide the hickies, the hand prints, and other battle scars of this epic climatic conflict.
Omg tomato sauce!!! Rage!! Quote
Her tan, smooth skin was streaked with tomato sauce. Of course it had been an act. When he had got to his door she was there waiting for him. Her nipples poking through her expensive silk blouse.
She was no innocent. But she took that slice... and went to the bank and cashed it.
Her moans made the neighbors cum in their Bermuda shorts as they were f0rced to listen to the havoc wrought upon her bony, sexy body as wave after orgasmic wave crushed her inhibitions to so much fine dust.
It was the fuck of a lifetime. She had no regrets for her lie. Her hurried scurry out the back door of the restaurant with no time even for some half-baked excuse. She would have to wear thick skin covering clothes the next day to hide the hickies, the hand prints, and other battle scars of this epic climatic conflict.
Omg tomato sauce!!! Rage!! Quote
Created by:
dudley_do_ride
9/30/17 @ 5:09am
(EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,267
