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Female Performer Chat: The Thread of Good Times
Ouch Duds!!
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Created by:
dudley_do_ride
8/19/19 @ 12:05am
(EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,267
Ouch Duds!!
Yeah... yeah... yeah. Ohhh the Mountie is so horrible. So rude. So arrogant. So cruel. Rides around leaving his manure here and there.
But have you any idea how I've been provoked? How wronged? At every corner. At every impulse. Not a moment's peace. Just a deluge.
This time it has simply crossed the threshold! Reached the point of no return! I am ripping the hem of my Socratic robes! I am crossing the Gros Venture!
Savoir Faire was a villain. Till his dying day. Lotsa Luck was a veritable assassin. But at least these... these had some sense of honor. Some code that they followed even in their villainy. Snidely stayed within some constraints and never used a trick knot in all his tie tying.
Horse told me... as he went to pasture... told me it would be like this. But I didn't believe him. Had more faith in humanity. Well... no more...
Fare thee well poney boy... Stay golden...
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Yeah... yeah... yeah. Ohhh the Mountie is so horrible. So rude. So arrogant. So cruel. Rides around leaving his manure here and there.
But have you any idea how I've been provoked? How wronged? At every corner. At every impulse. Not a moment's peace. Just a deluge.
This time it has simply crossed the threshold! Reached the point of no return! I am ripping the hem of my Socratic robes! I am crossing the Gros Venture!
Savoir Faire was a villain. Till his dying day. Lotsa Luck was a veritable assassin. But at least these... these had some sense of honor. Some code that they followed even in their villainy. Snidely stayed within some constraints and never used a trick knot in all his tie tying.
Horse told me... as he went to pasture... told me it would be like this. But I didn't believe him. Had more faith in humanity. Well... no more...
Fare thee well poney boy... Stay golden...
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Fare thee good too Mounted One!
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Created by:
dudley_do_ride
9/3/19 @ 3:44am
(EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,267
Owwwwwwww…
It was airly last Septaimber…
Ais nair as I can remaimbaire…
I was walking down the street in drunken pride.
When I fell into the guttaire…
Thinking thoughts I dare not uttaire…
A pig came up and laid down by me syde.
As I lay there in that guttaire…
thinking thoughts I dare not utaire…
A faire young maid came by and she sayde:
You can tell a man who boozes by the company he chooses...
And the pig got up and walked awaaaay…
Aye that pig got up and walked slooowly awaaaaay.
Quote
It was airly last Septaimber…
Ais nair as I can remaimbaire…
I was walking down the street in drunken pride.
When I fell into the guttaire…
Thinking thoughts I dare not uttaire…
A pig came up and laid down by me syde.
As I lay there in that guttaire…
thinking thoughts I dare not utaire…
A faire young maid came by and she sayde:
You can tell a man who boozes by the company he chooses...
And the pig got up and walked awaaaay…
Aye that pig got up and walked slooowly awaaaaay.
Quote
Created by:
dudley_do_ride
9/10/19 @ 12:16am
(EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,267
R: Ah, still enjoying your snakes I see.
Fu: Yes Eminence. I am a man of simple tastes. As I age, I stick with what works. But what brings you here? You are not one for social calls.
R: True. True. But I do cherish my few excursions out in the world. Though I must confess I am perpetually tortured by the thought of what may be happening while I am away.
Fu: You have to learn how to delegate Eminence.
R: Doubtless true. But have you ever? Delegated any bit of your power?
Fu: Never. But my power moves with me as I journey. It is not tied to one city. Or even one kingdom.
R: Ah yes I see. The price of ruling from the shadows. Some would say I don't really have power. That power is power. Not influence.
Fu: The king can dispose of you anytime he wishes it is true. And yet France does as you will.
R: But I can't have any snake pits. Influence you see. I have only the Bastille.
Fu: Yeah. I hear you man. Watch this!
Innocent damsel in distress: No. Noooo. Nooooooo!!!!! Yiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiii
R: Wow. You don't see many like that. You are truly an artist Fu.
Fu: heh heh heh. I've always had that gift. You really can't teach it.
R: *sigh* I could really use some talent. My men are so uninspired.
Fu: No good draft picks this year?
R; No we did way too well. And no good trades.
Fu: Yeah it sucks to be in a rebuilding year.
R: There was this one k1d who was looking really good but then D'Winter got her hooks into him and after one night he was completely ruined.
Fu: She's a tough one to manage for sure. Have to keep sending her on oversees missions.
R: Yeah but she is so posh that she can only take so much slumming around before she absolutely requires Versailles. Still... Does fine work. Has a passion for it.
Fu: That's so important. I mean, you spend the majority of life at work, you know?
R: Yes. But we should get to business now...
…
…
…
Fu: Then it is decided. A most devious scheme and should be very profitable.
R: I knew it would be right up your alley.
Fu: A toast! Drink my latest elixir. A toast to our renewed alliance!
R: *siiiip* Heady stuff. I feel so invigorated Fu. But mostly by the opportunity to work with you again!
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Fu: Yes Eminence. I am a man of simple tastes. As I age, I stick with what works. But what brings you here? You are not one for social calls.
R: True. True. But I do cherish my few excursions out in the world. Though I must confess I am perpetually tortured by the thought of what may be happening while I am away.
Fu: You have to learn how to delegate Eminence.
R: Doubtless true. But have you ever? Delegated any bit of your power?
Fu: Never. But my power moves with me as I journey. It is not tied to one city. Or even one kingdom.
R: Ah yes I see. The price of ruling from the shadows. Some would say I don't really have power. That power is power. Not influence.
Fu: The king can dispose of you anytime he wishes it is true. And yet France does as you will.
R: But I can't have any snake pits. Influence you see. I have only the Bastille.
Fu: Yeah. I hear you man. Watch this!
Innocent damsel in distress: No. Noooo. Nooooooo!!!!! Yiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiii
R: Wow. You don't see many like that. You are truly an artist Fu.
Fu: heh heh heh. I've always had that gift. You really can't teach it.
R: *sigh* I could really use some talent. My men are so uninspired.
Fu: No good draft picks this year?
R; No we did way too well. And no good trades.
Fu: Yeah it sucks to be in a rebuilding year.
R: There was this one k1d who was looking really good but then D'Winter got her hooks into him and after one night he was completely ruined.
Fu: She's a tough one to manage for sure. Have to keep sending her on oversees missions.
R: Yeah but she is so posh that she can only take so much slumming around before she absolutely requires Versailles. Still... Does fine work. Has a passion for it.
Fu: That's so important. I mean, you spend the majority of life at work, you know?
R: Yes. But we should get to business now...
…
…
…
Fu: Then it is decided. A most devious scheme and should be very profitable.
R: I knew it would be right up your alley.
Fu: A toast! Drink my latest elixir. A toast to our renewed alliance!
R: *siiiip* Heady stuff. I feel so invigorated Fu. But mostly by the opportunity to work with you again!
Quote
Created by:
dudley_do_ride
9/10/19 @ 12:42am
(EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,267
Fu: Ah monsieur Couvier… welcome to my lair.
Couvier: His Eminence has instructed me to foster the exchange of technology as part of our new pact.
Fu: Way ahead of you! Observe!
Minions: *swish* All hail the divine Fu! *swish* Obedience to the Master is the ultimate Virtue! *swish*
Couvier: A bunch of fanateeks swaineen on ayah rope. Ovair ze ubeequeetous snahkah peet?
Fu: Elementary dear Couvier. It is a.... Fu cult pendulum!
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Couvier: His Eminence has instructed me to foster the exchange of technology as part of our new pact.
Fu: Way ahead of you! Observe!
Minions: *swish* All hail the divine Fu! *swish* Obedience to the Master is the ultimate Virtue! *swish*
Couvier: A bunch of fanateeks swaineen on ayah rope. Ovair ze ubeequeetous snahkah peet?
Fu: Elementary dear Couvier. It is a.... Fu cult pendulum!
Quote
Created by:
dudley_do_ride
9/14/19 @ 11:21pm
(EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,267
Take you back... do do dooooo do Take you baaaaaaaaack.
I've been told by...
Some people and they all...
Say to take you back... take you back like before.
I don't call that a reason...
I just call that defeatist bleating against maaaah self.... yeah.
Take you back... do do dooooo do. Take you baaaaaaaack.
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I've been told by...
Some people and they all...
Say to take you back... take you back like before.
I don't call that a reason...
I just call that defeatist bleating against maaaah self.... yeah.
Take you back... do do dooooo do. Take you baaaaaaaack.
Quote
Created by:
dudley_do_ride
9/14/19 @ 11:35pm
(EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,267
You try to push me back.... do do doooo do
You never stop... You are what you are.
I know there's a reason.. for all those things you doooo. yeah.
Take you back... do do doooo do Take you back do doooo do do.
You try to hold me back.. do dooo do do
Now you've gone too far. You sneak attack. do dooo do do
Blot out my guiding star. You lie and you hurt me. By your intriiiiiigue ging ways yeah.
do dooo do do
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You never stop... You are what you are.
I know there's a reason.. for all those things you doooo. yeah.
Take you back... do do doooo do Take you back do doooo do do.
You try to hold me back.. do dooo do do
Now you've gone too far. You sneak attack. do dooo do do
Blot out my guiding star. You lie and you hurt me. By your intriiiiiigue ging ways yeah.
do dooo do do
Quote
Created by:
dudley_do_ride
9/15/19 @ 12:01am
(EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,267
D'Winter: At least there is no stink of Calvinism here.
D'Winter: Ah master Fu, it is an honor to make your acquaintance. *curtsies*
Fu: Rise madam, rise. Your reputation precedes you. So this is the vessel that split Buckingham's hull?
D'Winter: His Eminence has sent me here with the most flattering description of you.
Fu: And the most vicious instructions no doubt. How do you like my snake pit?
D'Winter: It is everything I have imagined and so much more.
Fu: Yes... I am afraid I am unable to give it some action today... the pickings have been lean this week.
D'Winter: No matter. I will be here for a few weeks. Plenty of time to rectify that and create quite a spectacle.
Fu: Oh so you are promising a donation?
D'Winter: It is presumptuous I know. But I am ever the optimist.
Fu: Good. Goooooood. I am enjoying this alliance more and more.
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D'Winter: Ah master Fu, it is an honor to make your acquaintance. *curtsies*
Fu: Rise madam, rise. Your reputation precedes you. So this is the vessel that split Buckingham's hull?
D'Winter: His Eminence has sent me here with the most flattering description of you.
Fu: And the most vicious instructions no doubt. How do you like my snake pit?
D'Winter: It is everything I have imagined and so much more.
Fu: Yes... I am afraid I am unable to give it some action today... the pickings have been lean this week.
D'Winter: No matter. I will be here for a few weeks. Plenty of time to rectify that and create quite a spectacle.
Fu: Oh so you are promising a donation?
D'Winter: It is presumptuous I know. But I am ever the optimist.
Fu: Good. Goooooood. I am enjoying this alliance more and more.
Quote
Created by:
dudley_do_ride
9/15/19 @ 8:27pm
(EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,267
Athos: (in soliloquy) How's it that I am in this far off land? There is no good reason for it. I have always thought our paths to be governed by Fate and found that master to be cruel and arbitrary yet possessing a black humor and often thrilling in ironic tortures. I feel Fate's hand in this to be sure. And what can it be that Fate has in store for me? In a land where I find it hard to brood? I know what it is. It does not have to be writ in crayon for me in large bold blocks on some papyrus roll. No it must be D'Winter. It must be that she again walks this landscape casting her veils of intrigue this way and that. Leaving her bl00d strewn monuments of her villainy to cry to mute Heaven for Justice... a Justice that always seems to fall upon me to render. Cannot the grave keep contained her vile, wretched, slime-trailing evil? Must I contemplate her next plot in the cold gray light of sobriety? Must my mind first be bent and then strained to breaking point to first overpower her mesmerizing effect on mortal flesh, render aid to her latest victim and then send her, with dread legal formality once again to her tomb? Each time my mind deteriorates a bit more and my age advances at too fast a pace to be tracked. Each time the likelihood for ultimate victory declines and I feel more intensely the need to brood. Oh even know I need that brooding moment. That release from fell Duty and Fate. To take solace in the gentle rise of bubbles upwards to the tip of the glass. To push away the sounds of tavern and band and focus deep on the brood, savoring it, letting all memory and being merge into one dark deep brood. But even now I can sense the opportunity flitting away as Duty shrieks "Milady!" "Milady at 6 o'clock" "Coming out of the sun!" To hell again I will send her and see if the devil doth not retch her forth once more upon the innocent...
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Created by:
dudley_do_ride
9/16/19 @ 11:09pm
(EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,267
Sentences often seem too harsh when read about far away from the affair. Our forgiving natures prevent us from feeling Justice. Understanding its necessity. Those who have not encountered Evil, young and inexperienced all, cannot fathom it. It is no mistake that there are few young judges.
See then... view then... hear then. Oh you cannot appreciate in just a short snippet. Not fully. The goodness, the innocence cut short for the sheer joy of working Evil. Risking neck and failure for no reason than to cause life changing grief for insult. Know the story. Feel the event. Pity Athos. Caught in his cycle.
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See then... view then... hear then. Oh you cannot appreciate in just a short snippet. Not fully. The goodness, the innocence cut short for the sheer joy of working Evil. Risking neck and failure for no reason than to cause life changing grief for insult. Know the story. Feel the event. Pity Athos. Caught in his cycle.
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Created by:
dudley_do_ride
9/18/19 @ 5:14am
(EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,267
I believe in mankind... after all I have seen. Yes I am a student of History and have digested the long series of atrocities the species has committed in merely recorded time. I have lived in this world and witnessed the petty cruelties that are carelessly inflicted each day. I have seen vaulting pride, lack of empathy, every sin that has been given its own definition.
But... I see the trend. Despite the efforts of petty tyrants... despite guile and greed... the spark of Enlightenment has taken... the masses are moving toward greater freedom in their painful, slow, staggering fashion. Reason has started to roll back the shadows of ignorance. Courage springs in vibrant hearts. A compassionate determination, world wise, to do good and improve by increment conditions for all has been born and grows.
The pure cynic points gnarled finger at the ultimate outcome of man and universe. He invokes entropy. And plots his course accordingly.
But I have the idealism that was rife a few centuries back and wait for doom and gloom philosophies to lose their appeal. To see greed give way once again to public duty.
The destruction of zombie D'Winter will satisfy only a thirst for Justice and provide a higher level of public safety. I know that violence of this type is tedious because our hearts crave more than this. Despite wanting to appear tough we cry at weddings and love happy endings. In more dignified and formal terms we are moral beings that any decent god would love.
I believe in you even though I give you what appears to be grist for the mill. And declare the death sentence on D'winter! Pronounce her doom! Quote
But... I see the trend. Despite the efforts of petty tyrants... despite guile and greed... the spark of Enlightenment has taken... the masses are moving toward greater freedom in their painful, slow, staggering fashion. Reason has started to roll back the shadows of ignorance. Courage springs in vibrant hearts. A compassionate determination, world wise, to do good and improve by increment conditions for all has been born and grows.
The pure cynic points gnarled finger at the ultimate outcome of man and universe. He invokes entropy. And plots his course accordingly.
But I have the idealism that was rife a few centuries back and wait for doom and gloom philosophies to lose their appeal. To see greed give way once again to public duty.
The destruction of zombie D'Winter will satisfy only a thirst for Justice and provide a higher level of public safety. I know that violence of this type is tedious because our hearts crave more than this. Despite wanting to appear tough we cry at weddings and love happy endings. In more dignified and formal terms we are moral beings that any decent god would love.
I believe in you even though I give you what appears to be grist for the mill. And declare the death sentence on D'winter! Pronounce her doom! Quote
Created by:
dudley_do_ride
9/19/19 @ 9:35am
(EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,267
Zombie D'Winter… zombie D'Winter. What picture comes to your mind of her? I tell you she is still as fair as when she first ascended from her coach at Versailles. Unique in life. Unique in death. Unblemished. No mark on her from the headsman's axe that severed head from neck at musketeers' verdict so long ago. No way to discern her undead state. One wonders if a double k1ll is required for her. It is clear, as she dines daintily on Fu's exotic fare, that she is no brain devourer. Fu, seeker of immortality himself, can hardly hide his fascination with her and watches carefully exactly what she consumes and how much of it. A master manipulator himself, Fu marvels at how with every gesture she starts to make all around her conform to her will, not using spell or raw beauty, but a holistic, integrated approach. He noticed how her shifty eyes would flit to the side and rapidly take in the man to her left then dart to the right and make a quick study there. How almost effortlessly she changed in subtle ways to work her will in both directions. To one she was shy and sweet. To another she was unadulterated command and power. To one she was tranquility incarnate. To another full of passionate energy.
The courtly French lady had deceived Felton, the supposedly untouchable fanatic and jailor, into believing she was a devout protestant and used him as a living blade to slay the most powerful Englishman of her Age. Like a wave crashing on a wall, she could be stopped in her main assault only to find some crack to move through and pull all down in ruin. A formidable adversary in a vast array of scenarios.
Death could not bear to blemish her. He too was seduced by her. Quote
The courtly French lady had deceived Felton, the supposedly untouchable fanatic and jailor, into believing she was a devout protestant and used him as a living blade to slay the most powerful Englishman of her Age. Like a wave crashing on a wall, she could be stopped in her main assault only to find some crack to move through and pull all down in ruin. A formidable adversary in a vast array of scenarios.
Death could not bear to blemish her. He too was seduced by her. Quote
Created by:
dudley_do_ride
9/20/19 @ 6:20am
(EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,267
I know what you want. You want zombie sex. D'Winter's nude heaving body all slick with sweat and cum, tits swinging as she goes down on her victims. The femme fatale unleashed and active.
You would lynch Death for bespoiling her and messing with that epic sight. You want her evil, deceitful mouth stuffed with cock and her flat ass whipped. And yes, Faye Dunaway is what any sensible one of you is imagining in your unimaginative way. Legions have played the role but you are obsessed with one flat, high powered bitch. You should have loved Raquel Welch, Constance, wanted her. But every time she shared the screen with Dunaway you blotted her out. Every time Dunaway appeared you clinched the seat with white knuckles and watched in fascination. You burbled mindless spit bubbles from your slack jawed mouth as you watched her curls flop this way and that, saw her back flex, saw her eyes fire and command.
Oh the images you force me to contemplate! Because of your depraved mind. So lurid that even my cold heart pities the poor objectified servant of devil and Eminence.
I wake at odd hours and take a scotch with shaking fingers. Looking at my fraught face and wild hair. Knowing that your demands upon my sanity will someday break all that remains.
The brand of dishonor on her skin stretching as she works her body into a pretzel.
Cold dunk of face in ice. More scotch. No relief. Relief from a species out of control. Lost in its depravity. Ruthless in its hunger.
My patrons pull the purse noose and stretch my suffering soul on the rack. My fingers ache but must continue the saga. The ancient mariner had it so easy. He had only an albatross around his neck.
But I will find some way to slip Virtue through the cracks. To plant the good seed in the seething press of sweaty bodies. Bring Compassion out of the axe. Even as Evil is returned from whence it came.
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You would lynch Death for bespoiling her and messing with that epic sight. You want her evil, deceitful mouth stuffed with cock and her flat ass whipped. And yes, Faye Dunaway is what any sensible one of you is imagining in your unimaginative way. Legions have played the role but you are obsessed with one flat, high powered bitch. You should have loved Raquel Welch, Constance, wanted her. But every time she shared the screen with Dunaway you blotted her out. Every time Dunaway appeared you clinched the seat with white knuckles and watched in fascination. You burbled mindless spit bubbles from your slack jawed mouth as you watched her curls flop this way and that, saw her back flex, saw her eyes fire and command.
Oh the images you force me to contemplate! Because of your depraved mind. So lurid that even my cold heart pities the poor objectified servant of devil and Eminence.
I wake at odd hours and take a scotch with shaking fingers. Looking at my fraught face and wild hair. Knowing that your demands upon my sanity will someday break all that remains.
The brand of dishonor on her skin stretching as she works her body into a pretzel.
Cold dunk of face in ice. More scotch. No relief. Relief from a species out of control. Lost in its depravity. Ruthless in its hunger.
My patrons pull the purse noose and stretch my suffering soul on the rack. My fingers ache but must continue the saga. The ancient mariner had it so easy. He had only an albatross around his neck.
But I will find some way to slip Virtue through the cracks. To plant the good seed in the seething press of sweaty bodies. Bring Compassion out of the axe. Even as Evil is returned from whence it came.
Quote
Created by:
dudley_do_ride
9/21/19 @ 12:00am
(EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,267
We interrupt this show to bring you a flashback to a simpler time... A time of fantasy... A time of flowers and forests... and frolicking:
Snow Wight: hssssssssssssssssssss hssssssssssssssssssss while you work. In the harrows of the howe.
Little girl: is this whole thing just a gag about wights?
Snow Wight: That's right mortal hsssssssssssssssssssssss It's about wight supremacy.
Queen: Mirror, mirror on the wall... who's the fairest of them all?
Snow Wight: hsssssssssssssssssssssss
Mirror: It's a gimme your majesty.
Narrator: We hope, gentle reader that you have not left something productive to set eyes here...
Sergeant: Do not fire. I do not see the wights of their eyes.
Madam Martin: Monsieur Jean Claude, monsieur Jean Claude telephon!
Snow Wight: hsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss you rang?
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Snow Wight: hssssssssssssssssssss hssssssssssssssssssss while you work. In the harrows of the howe.
Little girl: is this whole thing just a gag about wights?
Snow Wight: That's right mortal hsssssssssssssssssssssss It's about wight supremacy.
Queen: Mirror, mirror on the wall... who's the fairest of them all?
Snow Wight: hsssssssssssssssssssssss
Mirror: It's a gimme your majesty.
Narrator: We hope, gentle reader that you have not left something productive to set eyes here...
Sergeant: Do not fire. I do not see the wights of their eyes.
Madam Martin: Monsieur Jean Claude, monsieur Jean Claude telephon!
Snow Wight: hsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss you rang?
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Created by:
dudley_do_ride
9/23/19 @ 3:42am
(EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,267
Ohhhh I am the headsman of Nantes....
Just the merry, hairy headsman of Nantes...
My axe goes whicker whack
And into the basket kersplat
So my client no longer needs a hat
I am the headsman.... the very headsman of Nantes.
I work by commission it's true
Your noble enemies have nominated you
As an evil doer you are quite the affair
Many want my glove in your hair
Lifting you on high
After you have made your last sigh
Oh I am the headsman of Nantes
And for all you know that rhymes with ants
I never wear fine linen pants
Because my work is a messy kind
More than you'll typically find
But I gaze down at your behind
As I cleave through your neck easier than rind
Oh I am the headsman of Nantes
Coming by skiff to the orient
To follow the gold
Do what I'm told
I am the ever loving headsman of Nantes!
Quote
Just the merry, hairy headsman of Nantes...
My axe goes whicker whack
And into the basket kersplat
So my client no longer needs a hat
I am the headsman.... the very headsman of Nantes.
I work by commission it's true
Your noble enemies have nominated you
As an evil doer you are quite the affair
Many want my glove in your hair
Lifting you on high
After you have made your last sigh
Oh I am the headsman of Nantes
And for all you know that rhymes with ants
I never wear fine linen pants
Because my work is a messy kind
More than you'll typically find
But I gaze down at your behind
As I cleave through your neck easier than rind
Oh I am the headsman of Nantes
Coming by skiff to the orient
To follow the gold
Do what I'm told
I am the ever loving headsman of Nantes!
Quote
Created by:
dudley_do_ride
9/24/19 @ 5:18am
(EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,267
I toss the story with contempt like a deck of cards upon the floor... I do not need to arrange anything for the likes of you. You think you deserve arcs and spectacular final seasons. You make long winded critic videos giving your theories and plot wet dreams.
Well you have the plot sense of a wounded rhino crashing noisily through the brush. You miss obvious metaphors. Fumble clues like an overdosed running back with dropsie. You are a slave to your emotions and lack the most basic sense. You'd do better to be quarantined from your fellow man until you start to think. Until your suffering starts to teach your contrary soul what's good and right and decent.
You make reaction videos and expect me to listen to your profound observations in real time. Snarfing down pop corn and making fool jokes as you guzzle down the hard work of the artist in your typical blind haste. You expect to be surprised. But if a character falls outside of your narrow envelope of acceptable development you cry bl00dy mairdair. Your ego is strapped to a rocket with enough thrust to carry it out of the solar system unassisted by any gravitational boost.
Go then and gather, wise one. String together the fragments into something that pleases you. I am done being coherent. I am done designing great castles in the air for your sake. I am going full Joyce mode. I am gonna Poe you down. I am cutting all ties to theory. Into the heart of darkness we go.
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Well you have the plot sense of a wounded rhino crashing noisily through the brush. You miss obvious metaphors. Fumble clues like an overdosed running back with dropsie. You are a slave to your emotions and lack the most basic sense. You'd do better to be quarantined from your fellow man until you start to think. Until your suffering starts to teach your contrary soul what's good and right and decent.
You make reaction videos and expect me to listen to your profound observations in real time. Snarfing down pop corn and making fool jokes as you guzzle down the hard work of the artist in your typical blind haste. You expect to be surprised. But if a character falls outside of your narrow envelope of acceptable development you cry bl00dy mairdair. Your ego is strapped to a rocket with enough thrust to carry it out of the solar system unassisted by any gravitational boost.
Go then and gather, wise one. String together the fragments into something that pleases you. I am done being coherent. I am done designing great castles in the air for your sake. I am going full Joyce mode. I am gonna Poe you down. I am cutting all ties to theory. Into the heart of darkness we go.
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Yeah I see you there... thinkin'.. thinkin' it's time for a new thread. A thread about something.
Nothing down. Nothing serious. Just laid back, cool, easy good times.
Nothing judgemental. Nothing confrontational.
A thread you can wear your hawaiian shirt to. Heck, maybe even your fijian shirt. A thread that you can play your ukelele in. A thread you can make fish lips in.
Yep. Not your overly showy thread. Not your too wordy thread.
Just take your line and shoot it. Go with the flow. Ease into it.
And chill...
Quote
Created by:
dudley_do_ride
9/27/19 @ 5:55am
(EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,267
D'Winter: WIRE HANGERS!!!!!!!! FUCKING WIRE HANGERS!!!!!!!!
General Xo: (waking) mmmmph what?
D'Winter: GET UP!!!! RIGHT NOW!!!! (starts tossing Xo's uniforms out of his closet)
General Xo: Darling? What's wrong?
D'Winter: *SLAAAAAAAAAP* I SAID UP!!!! YOU ARE GIVEN A POSITION OF POWER... OF RESPONSIBILITY. AND *gasping sputtering* WIRE HANGERS???!!!!
General Xo: (starting to cry) Whaaa. I don't think. (takes another slap)
D'Winter: SHUT UP!!!! SHUT UP!!! SHUT UP!!!! (wraps a hanger around Xo's neck)
General Xo: *gagging* Pppp please milady.
D'Winter: (dressed in power leather, picks up bull whip) *CRAAAAAAAACKKKKKKK* Time to clean up this sty. On all fours piggy. And start licking that floor.
General Xo: Could we just cuddle?
*CRAAAAAAACK CRAAAAAAAAAAACK CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK*
General Xo: Yes mistress. *liiiiiiiick liiiiiiiick* please mistress.
Quote
General Xo: (waking) mmmmph what?
D'Winter: GET UP!!!! RIGHT NOW!!!! (starts tossing Xo's uniforms out of his closet)
General Xo: Darling? What's wrong?
D'Winter: *SLAAAAAAAAAP* I SAID UP!!!! YOU ARE GIVEN A POSITION OF POWER... OF RESPONSIBILITY. AND *gasping sputtering* WIRE HANGERS???!!!!
General Xo: (starting to cry) Whaaa. I don't think. (takes another slap)
D'Winter: SHUT UP!!!! SHUT UP!!! SHUT UP!!!! (wraps a hanger around Xo's neck)
General Xo: *gagging* Pppp please milady.
D'Winter: (dressed in power leather, picks up bull whip) *CRAAAAAAAACKKKKKKK* Time to clean up this sty. On all fours piggy. And start licking that floor.
General Xo: Could we just cuddle?
*CRAAAAAAACK CRAAAAAAAAAAACK CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK*
General Xo: Yes mistress. *liiiiiiiick liiiiiiiick* please mistress.
Quote
Created by:
dudley_do_ride
9/27/19 @ 6:40am
(EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,267
Ding a ling ding ding a ling...
*clop clop clop clop*
Megaphone: Free ice cream! Free pizza! Come join the celebration!
Megaphone: Chocolate covered fro *SLAP..... bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz*
K1d 1: Yayyyy wait for me!
cloppity cloppity
K1d2: Hey! No fair. Only the big k1ds can keep up.
click click cloppity
college k1d 1: Oh man if you keep this up I am gonna bail. Even though that pizza smells soooooo good.
college k1d 2: *pant pant* It'll be worth it. Look at that baked Alaskan in the window.
*screeeeeeeeeeech scabble scabble scabble CLANG KERCHUNK*
All: Hey let us out!
clip clop clip clop clop clop clop clop
Driver: Send word to Master Fu that his donation has arrived.
Guard: It shall be done. Keep right and stay low. The pit feed is open from 9 to 5. Don't forget to validate!
Quote
*clop clop clop clop*
Megaphone: Free ice cream! Free pizza! Come join the celebration!
Megaphone: Chocolate covered fro *SLAP..... bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz*
K1d 1: Yayyyy wait for me!
cloppity cloppity
K1d2: Hey! No fair. Only the big k1ds can keep up.
click click cloppity
college k1d 1: Oh man if you keep this up I am gonna bail. Even though that pizza smells soooooo good.
college k1d 2: *pant pant* It'll be worth it. Look at that baked Alaskan in the window.
*screeeeeeeeeeech scabble scabble scabble CLANG KERCHUNK*
All: Hey let us out!
clip clop clip clop clop clop clop clop
Driver: Send word to Master Fu that his donation has arrived.
Guard: It shall be done. Keep right and stay low. The pit feed is open from 9 to 5. Don't forget to validate!
Quote
