dudley_do_ride: The Blessing of the Mountie - 9/29/14

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The Blessing of the Mountie

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Female Performer Chat: The Blessing of the Mountie

Created by: dudley_do_ride

9/29/14 @ 1:28am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,294

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It is September 28th my ch1ldren... I am speaking to you live from Tuba City...

It is time... time to receive... The Blessing of the Mountie...

You are all fundamentally good... fundamentally deserving... receive therefore my blessing... this holy month. You live in the time of Emma Thompson... A priveleged generation... Receive therefore your deserved blessing... The Blessing of the Mountie.

Join the conga line... join it I say! Sing: "I said wot? She said wot? We all said wot? Whaddaya want." Sing it... sensibly!

May your line prosper... doing so fine. May your jokes be funny and your poems rhyme. May your command decisions make your wildest dreams come true. May your ex never have appeared on Phil Donahue.

May your rash stop itching and your inlaws stop vetching. May you find that other you have been looking for who is so totally fetching.

May your garden bloom and grow, bloom and grow forever... May your governess stay single and not run off with an edelweiss.

May your words flow like sun filled ripples in the stream even when spouting cockney. May your eyes sound more eloquently than your ees.

May you come to rule Kai... with no disastrous diverting rivers to make your armies fly. Victory lift you to glorious heights... and not disrupted in the harrows by cold wights.

In short may your life be a glorious epiphany of lights. With darkness reserved only for warm sleeping fantasy flights.

May the spirit of Tuba City descend upon you... and give you the beserker feet boogaloo.

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Created by: suggs

9/29/14 @ 1:52am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Left of centre
Posts: 6,768

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Heads off down Alphabet Street where all the rock chicks in ripped denim jeans and leather boob tubes gather.

"If I'm back from there in less than a week, throw me back"

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Created by: grumpnose

9/29/14 @ 11:50am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: where prince charming ruined all the fun
Posts: 691

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I didn't know they had mounties on the Navajo reservation

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Created by: amanda_fucking_palmer

9/29/14 @ 12:19pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: yeah baby ... i'm faking it again
Posts: 1,793

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I didn't know they had mounties on the Navajo reservation

What? Huh? errrr ummmm ... WHAT? (grump) you didn't ever visit the magical Candy Mountain? Why Dudley's been taking himself and his other rainbow unicorn pals there regularly!

. Dudley The Unicorn .

For those who have IMMENSE amounts of non-jackoff time, here are all 4 episodes of Dudley the Unicorn. I'm sorry to say though that at no point in time do magical rainbows fly in their beauty out of Dudley or any other unicorn's ass. (wonders if grump would say "ty" if THAT happened)

http://youtu.be/Fu2DcHzokew

*blue ermin loop� Note: no actual unicorns were harmed in the production of the Dudley the Unicorn Series� http://www.flirt4free.com/forums *

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Created by: grumpnose

9/29/14 @ 6:31pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: where prince charming ruined all the fun
Posts: 691

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Well Mandy he did mention Tuba City.

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Created by: amanda_fucking_palmer

9/29/14 @ 7:32pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: yeah baby ... i'm faking it again
Posts: 1,793

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Well Mandy he did mention Tuba City.

rhank god he never saw the massive peaks down by Moencopi eh?

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Created by: dan_in_florida

9/29/14 @ 8:48pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Sunny South Florida - with a REALLY cool car :-)
Posts: 1,501

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Well Mandy he did mention Tuba City.

Might be even better with a Tuba Lube :winkwink

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

9/30/14 @ 12:41am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,294

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Heads off down Alphabet Street where all the rock chicks in ripped denim jeans and leather boob tubes gather.

"If I'm back from there in less than a week, throw me back"

Do not return until you have been filmed in a (another) rock video!

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

9/30/14 @ 12:43am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,294

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I didn't know they had mounties on the Navajo reservation

The territory over which the mountie roams includes the Navajo Nation and beyond. We are not about jurisdiction... we are about getting our (wo)man.

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

9/30/14 @ 12:51am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,294

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no actual unicorns were harmed in the production of the Dudley the Unicorn Series�

I want your kidney... bitch!

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

9/30/14 @ 12:53am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,294

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rhank god he never saw the massive peaks down by Moencopi eh?

Maybe not but I saw some ginormous bazoombas down in Albuquerque...

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

9/30/14 @ 12:56am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,294

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Might be even better with a Tuba Lube :winkwink

I'd rather have a tuba lube than a barrala herring.

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Created by: amanda_fucking_palmer

9/30/14 @ 11:07am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: yeah baby ... i'm faking it again
Posts: 1,793

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Maybe not but I saw some ginormous bazoombas down in Albuquerque...

Yeah and Precious Peaks was dancin' in Roswell when I passed through a while back. *sigh* Always had to stuff a buck into her garter when I happened to be there.

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Created by: grumpnose

9/30/14 @ 3:38pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: where prince charming ruined all the fun
Posts: 691

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Well u could go to nellie's nipples, there is a rather large stadium perched between them though.

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

10/1/14 @ 1:12am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,294

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Created by: amanda_fucking_palmer

10/1/14 @ 7:55am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: yeah baby ... i'm faking it again
Posts: 1,793

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Oh my poor, misunderstood babies... when I think about how much you slave and suffer in this remorseless world... When I think about how deaf the gods ears are to your sobs of agony... How little they feel the joy of your so very occaisonal victories... It brings tears to my eyes.

You lay strewn all over Life's battlefield... not knowing what hit you... outclassed, out-vicioused, outsped, and now lost in the bl00dy mud... your shoddily sown standards broken and your houses disgraced... Abject failure is your lot. Despite the greasy scraps of optimism that you wear as if your birthright to keep your shivering body from keeling over in hopeless faint.

You lay spread eagled as the cruel raven of Life picks out your organs and your eyes... As the coachroach of Fate makes a nest in your rib cage and the raptor of Destiny sharpens his nails on your aching old bones.

Oh pitiful creature, one leg up from the mud fish on Life's taxonomy, miserable thing, take my bounteous blessing. Feel the sunshine of my smile. Bask in my glow and be suffused with my radiant light. That you may lose your cares like a toddler giving up his ballons for that ice cream sunday. Sundays... Puppies in warm baskets.. Feel my warmth spreading over you so protectively.

It is the blessing... As the sweating conga line snakes back and forth... It is the blessing... The Blessing of the Mountie.

oh sweet Jesus ... to wake up and find this massively amusing twaddle layin on the Forum's doorstep! How fucking wonderful is THAT! (for the pedantic reader whose brain exploded while parsing Dudley's latest "Yes boss lady I'm getting that sales report done and I will be picking up the little ones from the school on time and yeah I wont forget the milk" struggle with his red-uniform fetish - I used a "!" cos' it's a rhetorical question my dears) - it's fucking PRICELESS!

While grump and my nattering on about peaks and mounts and bluffs and hills and other desert dweller shite with brief pokes served to distract SOME of YOU poor Dudley kept his calm pace and left us another gift on the steps. *nods* Admirable that ... and while I'm sure the ESL Canadian floating on some lake island or another went cross-eyed at some of the wonderful double entendres Dud's used I'm not gonna be keeping any pedantic scores to settle on this un. *shakes head* Nope ain't gonna happen.

* ... like all lubing and shit bae *

http://www.flirt4free.com/forums

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Created by: grumpnose

10/1/14 @ 12:49pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: where prince charming ruined all the fun
Posts: 691

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

10/5/14 @ 12:48pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,294

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I've never had an optimistic day in my life, but that was the most erudite way I've ever been called a loser, thanks Dudley

Oh I'd never call you a loser grump...

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

10/5/14 @ 12:59pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,294

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Created by: amanda_fucking_palmer

10/5/14 @ 2:53pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: yeah baby ... i'm faking it again
Posts: 1,793

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Yes.... yes.... you are blessed u see? And there is no higher quality blessor than me. So lift up that chin, unfurrow that brow... You've got a plow to lean upon and I'll always be here to show you how.

For some of you, the femmes you know... I will also occasionally give you the Laying on of the Mountie Hands. It is important to feel that human touch in a tender, healing way. Too often you have been touched in a greedy, lecherous way. Your skin has been pierced, bitten, over exfoliated. But I am here... to heal that outer layer. To lightly tan it, cover it with wholesome oils, to pluck out the odd malingering hair in a quick firm but ultimately gentle way...

So buck up, forget your cares. If you are de-ionized, my femme subset, I will provide the ions you need. If your juices be low on the dip stick, I will replentish them until you feel like the ripest of tomatoes.

And the rest of you... My door is always open for counseling. Modern life is difficult and we can't afford to lose the Wisdom of our Ancients. So relax, close trustingly those tired eyes, and get in touch with your inner being. Divulge your deepest secrets. Unload your most horrible memories. All will be dealt with in an officious and practical manner - but gently.

Now enjoy the sun and fun the weekend gives so freely. Look in the sky, late at night, and take comfort in the constellations - especially The Mountie...

i'm simply OO ... not even able to 00 or 0o and ffs (*)(.) is outta th' question Rider ... after reading this i have ONLY 2 things to errr ummm 'self-quote' *nods*

�You survived ��
"Yes; I did.�

- and -

she pulled me from the fray -
he'd laid waste of me -
upon her dragon�s back -
wings made sounds of sheets o'er bed snapped

the second i put my � Amanda 2014 stamp upon ... don't even know if you 'member her and that

the first ... a cut from an interrogation of a female death camp survivor ... might seem flippant, reductive ... but that's all i got ... yes, i did.

*blue ermin loop� 'survive' http://www.flirt4free.com/forums

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